Hi everyone, I'm new, and I'm afraid you might think I'm not a nice person by part of this question -- I really am, but you just reach a point, you know?
I've only lived here seven months, it's a more rural area than any I've ever lived in, my road ends on a mountain trail. This house has a vinyl panel fence on one side that runs the entire length of the property and half the back; house is on 3/4s of an acre, but is just a regular house, not a McMansion. Since the middle of December, someone has smashed the daylights out of the fence three times, the first two full panels near the street. I mean, planks scattered all over my lawn like an explosion. The cops won't do anything about it except take a report they're legally bound to take, the last cop told me it was DEER, even though whoever did it, and who else could do it but the people next door or their guests, had sprinkled what I'm guessing is fireplace ash on the snow to melt the tire tracks and footprints AND there's an impression on the planks as if something hit it which happens to line up perfectly with a car bumper. My handyman investigated that and figured it out. Yes, my HANDYMAN...
I knew it wasn't deer, but I'm not an expert, so I ran the pics past two wildlife biologists who said, vandalism. So I finally save up enough money to replace the two panels, and it seems that the big box store where the fence came from tweaked the measurements since the fence was installed, and they're too big for the space. Since these panels are right up front, privacy isn't an issue, and I was thinking, is there something I could put there instead, I was thinking of the mortar-free retaining wall look, but we are on the slope of a mountain and that would probably back up water on the neighbors, the expanse would be about 12 feet. And also, and this is where the mean part comes in, is there anything I could put there that would seem perfectly natural, but would damage the tires of anyone who was too drunk or stoned to drive? Damage has taken place over a Friday and a Saturday night, and impaired driving is outrageous, period, but here, there aren't any sidewalks or streetlights, children, joggers, dog walkers, domestic animals, wild animals, very curvy roads and a very prominent creek. If it happens again, I wouldn't mind the car being disabled, and I'd get a little relief out of a little justice for a change. When the cops won't protect you, it's scary.
So I'm open to any or all ideas, and very grateful for any help, thanks!!