Man VS Woman

[ElizabethB]

So this afternoon G decided to do some much overdue pruning on the live oak. Not the best time but not too bad since we have very mild winters. Branches hanging on power lies, resting on top or the patio cover and almost touching the patio. Did good. Kept my mouth shut. Hauled branches to the street for pick up. G has a fit because I am hauling some of the larger branches (3" + caliper) to the road. He wants to cut it up and carry it across the state to his deer camp in extreme northeast Louisiana for his wood burning stove. Man versus Woman. The camp is surrounded by woods. Woman - walk 10' into the woods and you can collect enough dead fall to fuel the stove for the entire season. Man - haul green wood across the state. Stack it, attract termites and possibly have dry wood for next season. HMMMM? After 32 years his logic still baffles me. Good thing I love him.

[imafan26]

I think its a guy thing.

[GardenRN]

You could just drive to the store and buy some veggies, but you choose to spend months growing them...

Juuuust sayin,

Besides, he's going there to hunt for deer, not logs. And half the ones you find in the woods are either too big, too small, too rotten etc. This is why God said he created woman as man's "helper"

....oop, I'm gone, I can feel a smack looming!

[webmaster]

ElizabethB, good points!

I have come to believe that relationships are nourished not only by what we do and say but also by what we choose to not say. Sometimes it's best to think to oneself, "Ok. Whatever." Then move on to something constructive.

[imafan26]

Well said Roger.

[ElizabethB]

Thanks all and yes GardenRN you do have a smack coming. I love G more than words can say and after this many years I know him better than he knows himself. He still manages to amaze me. Yes I could go to the produce market and yes I do choose to work my butt off growing veggies. Why do you think I kept my mouth shut? I just found some humor in his logic. Oh well - Love my man.

The joy of our relationship is that he still makes me laugh and sometimes makes me shake my head in amazement. That is what life, love and relationships are all about. And keeping my mouth shut when I need to.

[GardenRN]

I try to keep my mouth shut, but sometimes it comes out before I can stop it.

I did a good job when she wanted to paint the bathroom walls green and the ceiling purple. (they don't "go" together at all. But what do I care? I'm only in there for quick business. I figured "if it makes her happy..."

I should be better at it though.

[DoubleDogFarm]

Edit

[rainbowgardener]

That's Eric providing us with an example of keeping his mouth shut!


The green and purple would have been too much for me though. Sometimes you have to protect people from their mistakes. If it makes her happy is one thing, but it might be she only thinks she wants that color combination until after she sees what it actually looks like at which point she regrets it for a long time.

[DoubleDogFarm]

That's Eric providing us with an example of keeping his mouth shut!

Yup. and the master doesn't make it easy.

[GardenRN]

That's Eric providing us with an example of keeping his mouth shut!


The green and purple would have been too much for me though. Sometimes you have to protect people from their mistakes. If it makes her happy is one thing, but it might be she only thinks she wants that color combination until after she sees what it actually looks like at which point she regrets it for a long time.

Eh, you can always buy more paint. HOWEVER, I am partially color blind (as are 70% of men, I have learned). And purple and green are the colors that give me the most trouble. And although I feel right on these, it's possible that my perception of the hues is off and making them look worse than they are. Not many people other than us are in there anyways. She's proud of it, kids couldn't care less,

and I'm usually looking at a book...

[digitS']

I am right there with you on problems with colors, Jeff. I never had too many career prospects as a wholesale florist/rose grower, don't ya know .

If I am "creative" - it is only out of necessity. If the job needs doin', and I have to depart from the usual, I will be creative. Otherwise, uh uh. Gosh, I can be a stick-in-the-mud . . .

Our life partners, or even our co-workers, give us the opportunity to begin something new . . . Women seem especially good at "suggesting" something different, at least in my life.

Now, remember what I said about color vision:

████████████
████████████

Think also, different shades & hues.

Steve

[valley]

Lizzy, I understand perfectly his earmarking Oak branches for camp fire. It's Oak, when he cut it, he smelled it, smiled inside. It was as if he and this wood were already there. The branches heard him, understood and agreed, they both looked forward to: One being the fire while the other basked in the heat, cooked food and later stared into the flames remembering, planing.

Elizabeth, Do you understand now?

I wanted to bring some Fir splits down here, it burns so well, the flames are just the right color, it smells right. But wifey dissuaded me. Now I'm here burning Cotton wood, it's just not right and she doesn't understand ether and the girls agree with her. You are all alike when it comes to this sort of thing.

Richard

[imafan26]

Is that why men are so attached to their grills and smokers? They like the smell of burnt wood? I always thought is was more of a primal thing.

[GardenRN]

Is that why men are so attached to their grills and smokers? They like the smell of burnt wood? I always thought is was more of a primal thing.

It's both. It doesn't get tooooo much more primal than cooking meat over an open flam that you created. I will spend hours and hours standing by my smoker, nursing a nice drink. And inevitably, other men will find a way to join. And they too will join in the drinking and staring at the flames/smoke. Talking about how good it smells and their best results.

[tomf]

Edit

Smart statement Eric.

[DoubleDogFarm]

Edit

Smart statement Eric.

[Juliuskitty]

I heard this on NPR today. Whats the difference between government bonds and men?

Government bonds mature.

[DoubleDogFarm]

I heard this on NPR today. Whats the difference between government bonds and men?

Government bonds mature.

That's funny. I heard the same thing on my radio.

[Ohio Tiller]

Free wood is free wood why waste it!
I know when I go deer hunting I don't want to waste time cutting fire wood.
I have limited vacation time and don't want to waste it cutting fire wood when I could be hunting!
And if you know him like you say you do then you should know that us guys some times for no logical reason what so ever enjoy doing things the hard way! It’s the same logic to growing a garden when I could just go picking at Kroger much easier.

[tomf]

I have read about studies that looked at the way men and woman communicate. This one study that comes to mind points out that men tend to follow a subject, such as if we are talking about cars we will keep talking about cars, and woman have more of a tendency then men to wander of on a tangent, such as some one says he has a red car an she may start talking about her red dress. I do see this some what happening especially with my wife ( as we are close), but I think it depends upon the person more than anything. This is not a put down, by understanding each other better we can be more tolerant of each other.

Not a shopping list; just a few of the things I admire in the opposite sex, or anyone; I like strong confident and smart woman, confident enough to not be over bearing and demanding. Woman who are capable of doing things, and have some kind of talent. A person who cares about others and is not self absorbed, ones that has an open mind and is happy with a positive outlook on life; that describes my wife of many years. I also admire the same qualities in my male and female friends.

[Ohio Tiller]

I heard this on NPR today. Whats the difference between government bonds and men?

Government bonds mature.

Mature men are those grumpy old guys screaming at kids to get out of his yard! Who wants to be that guy?!!

[valley]

We're back in the mountains, where the wood we [ Wifey, the girls and I] have stacked 5 cords of wood. We cut split, lifted by wench to the deck, and stack on three sides of the house last summer. It is mostly from a enormous Pine, 4 foot across at the base. There is still enough for next year that hasn't been cut or split.
It's in varying degrees of dryness, but pretty dry. I prefer Fir but this tree was begining to die and standing next to the house.
Well, point is it burns so well, so clean with lots of BTUs. I bucked rounds, my oldest daughter and I rolled them to the splitter, split and pitched them to the paved area in front of the garage, where our youngest loaded the barrel, that wifey would wench up through the deck to be stacked. It was wet but sitting all summer made it very nice.

We are one of the reasons Indians can predict the cold and snow to be had in winter. They have admitted, I've heard, that their forecasts are based on the size of the white man's wood pile.

Sun is out and 30degreess ,outside, 79degrees inside.

Hope you all are enjoying Christmas with your loved ones gathered round.

[valley]

OH tiller, Read your: Grumpy old men, chasing kids off his property thing.

The girls came in telling me there were kids sledding on one of our roads. I was tempted to do nothing,but if one of them got hurt? I had to go down and tell them they were't welcome on the property.
The goats were better watchdogs than our dog, he was inside sleeping next to me on the floor.

[tomf]

It is a shame one has to be afraid of being sued, so as not to let kids have fun, but that is the way it is.

[valley]

Exactly, these were nice kids two boys and a girl. I told them you're not welcome to do this. The girl began to leave and one boy said: Our sleds are up there. I told them: Go get them, and they left, without a sour look or word.

[tomf]

Some years back when I lived in Portland, the lower side of my yard had a drop off to the driveway. One day I heard a crash and a kid screaming, I ran out to see he had rode into my yard and jumped off the drop off onto the driveway. He was banged up and his bike was bent.
I put something to block the area where he went off, and the next day I got and planted some Lace leaf maple trees in that area to block anyone from doing that stunt again.

When I was a kid we had a sledding hill on someones yard that they let us use, but that was then and this is now.

[ElizabethB]

I am surprised to see that this thread is still active. Thank you all so much for the . Update - G has been hunting almost non stop since Thanks Giving. He has put in a few hours into work here and there but not much. He is really blessed. All he has to do is have a client with him and his hunting trip is officially work. He also had 2 weeks "use or lose" vacation. When I spoke to him this morning I told him to enjoy the rest of this week because I want him home. I miss my crazy old man.

Hope you all had a very blessed Christmas. Wish you all a wonderful New Year. May all your dreams come true.

BTW - he did bring the oak branches to the camp but they were too green to burn and smoked like the dickens. I kept my mouth shut and did not give him a single "told you so". Can I get an AMEN?

[valley]

That sounds good, there is nothing that looks or sounds better than a woman who loves her husband and wants him close.

[tomf]

That sounds good, there is nothing that looks or sounds better than a woman who loves her husband and wants him close.

Or a man who loves and wants to be close to his wife.

[tomf]

I tried to think of the least offensive or off color jokes I could to go along with the men and bonds joke. So with out further ado.
Fred does not get it, he just has a problem understanding woman. He told me that his wife was taking pills to make her cup size bigger. He asked her how much they cost, she told him, and he said "you should have used TP, look what it did for your back side". Fred's in the dog house again.

Fred is not to bright, he told me that his wife must be a weather expert as he keeps hearing her tell someone on the phone that the coast is not clear.

Fred said his wife wanted a fancy wrist watch, he told her she did not need one as there was a clock on the stove. In the dog house again.

Fred said to his wife it was every man's dream to have two woman, she said it was not every woman's dream to have two husbands. He asked why not, she said it would just be one more bum to clean up after.

Fred's wife said that when they were dating Fred's idea to get her in the mood was ten minutes of bragging about his glory days.

Fred's wife asked him why he never told her he loved her. He told her that he said he loved her when they got married, and if he changed his mind he would let her know. Move over rover Fred is moving in.

Fred's wife found a picture of her in his pocket, she said " oh you love me so much you have my photo". Fred said "no when I am out drinking I keep looking at your picture and when you look good I know I have had to much to drink". Fred gets out of the hospital next week.

[tomf]

Someone I know is getting married and asked for advice on how my marriage ha lasted so long. I told her " when you go into a marriage keep both eyes open, and when you get married close one eye".

[valley]

Greetings, My wife, laughing, read this to me from the Net.

Arguing with your wife is like being arrested: [ Anything you say can and will be used against you.]

Wifey is so fun, She takes care of everything. She has all this energy, makes sure we eat, sees to it all are dressed well to the weather, we're happy, we are well. When the girls or I are working on anything, she has a way of making sure it all comes together. I've never won an argument, don't need to.
I'm not saying it very well, but if your husband or wife, seems to make everything you began come out right, you know what I'm saying.

A lady once said: " There is nothing more attractive than a man in love with his wife." I think that's true about a man or woman.
Mom and Daddy were always together, If everything was done everyone was taken care of, they would be somewhere together talking, in the garden working and talking. They always had something to talk about. Nothing was a crisis.
What ever came up, they would work that out too.
What am I going on about, Sorry I was just typing what I was thinking. I'll leave it, see if you can make any sense or it.

Richard

[tomf]

Greetings, My wife, laughing, read this to me from the Net.

Arguing with your wife is like being arrested: [ Anything you say can and will be used against you.]

Richard

best one I heard in a long time, LOL

[Juliuskitty]

Windows Frozen

Wife texts husband on a cold winter’s morning:

"Windows frozen, won't open."

Husband texts back:
"Gently pour some lukewarm water over it."

Wife texts back 5 minutes later:
"Computer really screwed up now.”

[valley]

Greetings, This is an old one, wifey just read it to me..Man rules
1. Men are NOT mind readers. We can try to guess but, we’ll get it wrong every time.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us. We have programmed our selves to lie on this subject.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both...
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1.Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. don't come right out of the blue and tell me I'm out of shape. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, motor sports or fishin’.

1. Crying is out right blackmail.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl... If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the raise and fall of the tides.
Accept it like that, you can’t keep the tide from raising or falling or the cycle of the moon. The moon controls the tied.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like going camping to us.

Pass this to as many men as you can -
to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can – most of them really need this educational material.

[Juliuskitty]

Hey valley, that was amusing, even though I am a woman, except maybe the toilet seat thingy. But why are they all #1?

[valley]

Haven't a clue, didn't write them. Wifey, read them to me. A relative posted them. I don't agree with the toilet seat thing ether.

Richard

[tomf]

If a man says something in the woods and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?

[valley]

That's good~!