This is very long, and I apologize, but I just could not help myself. I would have linked it since it has hilarious cat pictures in its original form, but it came from a private page.....
If these guidelines are helpful to you, please print this out and tape it to your monitor.
Irritable Grammar Cat challenges the premise that all cats are incapable of using proper grammar.
(Even LOLchat a.k.a. Catois has its own grammatical rules based on CORRECT English grammar. You have to know the rules to break them properly for the LULZ.)
GRAMMA--Your mother or father's maternal parent
GRAMMAR--Proper use of your native language
GRAMMER--Kelsey Grammer was an actor on "Cheers" and "Frasier".
YOUR--Possessive. Something you own. "Is that your book?"
YOURS--Note that this does not have an apostrophe. "No, that book is yours."
YOU'RE--Contraction. Shortened form of YOU ARE. "You're not into grammar?"
YORE--Time long past. "Back in the days of yore, King Arthur spoke with pond-dwelling watery tarts."
LOSER--Not a winner.
LOOSER--Less tight than before.
LUSER--Internet slang for someone who cannot properly use a computer.
LOSE--"Lose" is pronounced "looze." It means "to misplace," as in "I always lose my car keys," or "to be defeated," as in "We will lose the game without Bob."
LOOSE--"Loose" means "not tight" ("This shirt is too loose on me"), or "not confined" ("The ferret got loose when the door on his kennel broke").
BARE: Naked. "Please bare with me, we need more naked people for our streaking prank."
BEAR: Either a large, carnivorous furry mammal known to defecate in woods (if a noun) or a verb with a similar meaning as "endure." "I don't know how much longer I can bear this bear gnawing my face off."
Apostrophe Cat is never used to make plural Apostrophe Cats. Apostrophe Cat also deplores the use of "greengrocer's quotes" for emphasis.
ITS--Possessive. "The tree shed its leaves."
IT'S--Contraction. Shortened form of IT IS. "It's a shame about Ray."
See, the word "it" is not a noun. It's a pronoun! Pronouns never, ever, ever get an apostrophe to indicate possession. Think about it: You don't say "mi'ne" or "hi's", so you DO NOT say "your's" or "it's" or "her's" to indicate possession. If you get confused, take out the apostrophe in "it's" and put in the letter or letters the apostrophe is replacing, e.g., "it is." If the sentence makes no sense, don't use the apostrophe.
THERE--Location. "It's not here, it's there."
THEY'RE--Contraction. Shortened form of THEY ARE. "They're driving me crazy with the bad grammar."
"Their inability to use simple words properly is annoying."
DIABEETUS Grammar Cat points out that your snarky comment is not nearly as clever if it is ungrammatical.
When to use LESS: When you can't precisely count the amount.
When to use FEWER: When you can. It should be "10 items or FEWER" at your grocery store.
"She has fewer demerits than I do." "He has less courage than she does."
When to use "I" or "Me":
* If the sentence makes sense when you omit everyone else, e.g., "Bob and I enjoy reading books", then you use "I". If the sentence still makes sense after removing "Bob and", then you did it right. "Me enjoy reading books" is only right if you are Cookie Monster.
* If the sentence makes sense when you omit everyone else, e.g., "Susan gave books to Bob and me," then you use "me." If the sentence still makes sense after removing "Bob and", then you did
it right. "Susan gave books to I" is incorrect.
When to use "We" or "Us":
* If the sentence makes sense when you omit everyone else, e.g., "We teachers enjoy reading books", then you use "we". If the sentence still makes sense after removing "teachers", then you did it right. "Us enjoy reading books" is incorrect.
* If the sentence makes sense when you omit everyone else, e.g., "Susan gave books to the teachers and us," then you use "us." If the sentence still makes sense after removing "the teachers and", then you did it right. "Susan gave books to we" is incorrect.
THEN: Then is used either as a time marker ("Back then we knew what was expected of us.") or with a sequence of events ("If you misuse these words, then you look unintelligent.")
THAN: Unlike then, than is not related to time. Than is used in comparative statements. "He is taller than I am."
AFFECT: Affect with an a means "to influence," as in, "The rain affected Amy's hairdo." Affect can also mean, roughly, "to act in a way that you don't feel," as in, "She affected an air of superiority."
EFFECT: Effect with an e has a lot of subtle meanings as a noun, but to me the meaning "a result" seems to be at the core of all the definitions. For example, you can say, "The effect was eye-popping," or "The sound effects were amazing," or "The rain had no effect on Amy's hairdo."
Generally speaking, affect is a verb and effect is a noun. When you affect something, you produce an effect on it. Even in the passive voice, something would be affected, not effected. (The exceptions to the rule: As a verb, effect means to execute, produce, or accomplish something; as a noun, affect is used primarily by psychologists to refer to feelings and desires as factors in thought or conduct.)
ACCEPT: Accept is a verb meaning to receive.
EXCEPT: Except is usually a preposition meaning excluding. "I will accept all the packages except that one." Except is also a verb meaning to exclude. "Please except that item from the list."
ALLUSION: An Allusion is an indirect reference. "Did you catch my allusion to Shakespeare?"
ILLUSION: An illusion is a misconception or false impression. "Mirrors give the room an illusion of depth."
On the Internet, no one knows you're a cat...especially if you are a Grammar Cat.
WHOM: Use whom when you are referring to the object of a sentence. For example, it is "Whom did you step on?" if you are trying to figure out that I had squished Squiggly the caterpillar. Similarly, it would be "Whom do I love?" because you are asking about the object -- the target of my love. I know, it's shocking, but the Rolling Stones were being grammatically incorrect when they belted out the song "Who Do You Love?"
THE WHO: A great band.
WHO: Two correct sentences are "Who loves you?" and "Who stepped on the caterpillar?" In both these cases the one you are asking about is the subject -- the one taking action, not the one being acted upon.
FARTHER: Use Ã¢â‚¬Å“fartherÃ¢â‚¬
You must be the change you wish to see in the world.