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applestar
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Joined: Thu May 01, 2008 7:21 pm
Location: Zone 6, NJ (3/M)4/E ~ 10/M(11/B)

Questions for the GRANDPARENTS

A couple of days ago my neighbor was having some kind of a family get together — I could tell because I was closing some of our windows to avoid smoke from their fire pit, and I could hear adults talking the “baby talk” and cute bubbling laughter ...which made me realize they had their first grand daughter over for a visit. My neighbors are our (my hubby and my) ages, so it’s a bit sobering to think they are grandparents. Their children are older than ours by about 8-10 years, so in that sense we still have some time to wait before really thinking about it... but it did make me think, you know?

I mean when I had my first, our social network changed. It was nothing intentional, but our focus had pivoted to OUR BABY, and we just didn’t hook up or interact with our friends who didn’t have children or even — and this had been going on already, but friends with vastly differently aged children — in the same way any more. I’m finding that in some ways recently, similar shift has been going on with our friends who have already attained the GRANDPARENT status....

In some ways I get that because I don’t see my daughters as “helpless” any more, and I am more likely to be advisory than instructive in ways that I relate to them (oh there ARE times when I feel I need to give them a piece of my mind, too ... no question). So imagining myself as a grandmother, I could potentially see my outlook changing again.

I wonder how your own transformation has been like? Does becoming a grandparent and having grandchildren make you think differently about yourself? Your lifestyle? Your own goals?

imafan26
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Joined: Tue Jan 01, 2013 8:32 am
Location: Hawaii, zone 12a 587 ft elev.

Erikson summed it up in the stages of Psychosocial development.

https://www.verywellmind.com/erik-eriks ... nt-2795740



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