Re: Non-gardening, gardening-related funnies
What do you call a dog with no legs? Don't bother it is not coming anyways.
-
applestar
- Mod
- Posts: 30551
- Joined: Thu May 01, 2008 7:21 pm
- Location: Zone 6, NJ (3/M)4/E ~ 10/M(11/B)
DH bought eggs from a store we usually don’t buy eggs from. We ended up with 2 doz eggs of a brand I never heard of before.
Whatever they are calling themselves, I have re-named them Wise Guys eggs... let me tell you why.
Last time, I made 2 eggs. The first egg had shell so hard that my standard whack to crack it wasn’t enough, and I had to double-whack it, which I hate doing because inevitably, broken shells fall into the egg. So for the 2nd egg, I was prepared — I Gave it an extra hard whack ... and it had the most fragile, thin shell. I barely reacted in time to recover and adjust, so I didn’t completely smash the egg and egg yolk on the counter edge, but quite a bit of the egg white dribbled down the side, and into the unfortunately slightly ajar drawer.
Tonight, I was making a 3-egg omelette — 1st egg needed double-whack, 2nd shell was just as hard, ... and the third egg? You guessed it.
DEFINITELY, “WISE GUYS” eggs.
Whatever they are calling themselves, I have re-named them Wise Guys eggs... let me tell you why.
Last time, I made 2 eggs. The first egg had shell so hard that my standard whack to crack it wasn’t enough, and I had to double-whack it, which I hate doing because inevitably, broken shells fall into the egg. So for the 2nd egg, I was prepared — I Gave it an extra hard whack ... and it had the most fragile, thin shell. I barely reacted in time to recover and adjust, so I didn’t completely smash the egg and egg yolk on the counter edge, but quite a bit of the egg white dribbled down the side, and into the unfortunately slightly ajar drawer.
Tonight, I was making a 3-egg omelette — 1st egg needed double-whack, 2nd shell was just as hard, ... and the third egg? You guessed it.
DEFINITELY, “WISE GUYS” eggs.
-
Gary350
- Super Green Thumb
- Posts: 7428
- Joined: Mon Mar 23, 2009 1:59 pm
- Location: TN. 50 years of gardening experience.
This is differently non gardening funny.
When I was in college 1974 I lived in a house with 6 guys. The yard had 6 ft tall bushes all the way around except for the driveway and a small 2 ft wide opening in the bushes where you had to run very fast to jump over a large ditch to get to the mail box. If you do not jump the ditch then you have to walk all the way around outside to get the mail. Someone would always get the mail so I never worried about it but one day everyone decided it was my turn to jump the ditch to get the mail. So I ran and jumped the ditch my feet went out from under me I landed on my butt then slid on my back several feet. When I stood up I could smell the very strong smell of dog poop. It was on my feet and all up the back of my pants and shirt and in my hair. When I went into the house everyone laughed so hard they thought it was funny. After I took a shower and put on clean clothes everyone confessed they had all jumped the ditch before me and experienced the same thing. LOL. As it turned out a woman walked her dog the same time every day and every day the dog took a dump at our mail box. Every day for 3 days someone went out and talked to the woman about not letting her dog take a dump at our mail box. The woman said, there is nothing she can do the dog goes where it wants dog likes that green grassy spot at the mail box. Next day I put an M80 firecracker in the green grassy spot with an electric igniter and a wire running inside the house. We watched and waited then the dog squatted I pushed the button. BOOM, it scared the dog so bad it took off running as hard as it could go. The woman had a safety leash attached to her wrist that will not release that big 100 lb dog jerked that women threw the air she landed in the gravel about 10 ft from our mail box. The dog never slowed down dog pulled that woman about 30 ft through gravel and asphalt it skinned her up pretty bad. That woman never walked her dog on our street every again.
When I was in college 1974 I lived in a house with 6 guys. The yard had 6 ft tall bushes all the way around except for the driveway and a small 2 ft wide opening in the bushes where you had to run very fast to jump over a large ditch to get to the mail box. If you do not jump the ditch then you have to walk all the way around outside to get the mail. Someone would always get the mail so I never worried about it but one day everyone decided it was my turn to jump the ditch to get the mail. So I ran and jumped the ditch my feet went out from under me I landed on my butt then slid on my back several feet. When I stood up I could smell the very strong smell of dog poop. It was on my feet and all up the back of my pants and shirt and in my hair. When I went into the house everyone laughed so hard they thought it was funny. After I took a shower and put on clean clothes everyone confessed they had all jumped the ditch before me and experienced the same thing. LOL. As it turned out a woman walked her dog the same time every day and every day the dog took a dump at our mail box. Every day for 3 days someone went out and talked to the woman about not letting her dog take a dump at our mail box. The woman said, there is nothing she can do the dog goes where it wants dog likes that green grassy spot at the mail box. Next day I put an M80 firecracker in the green grassy spot with an electric igniter and a wire running inside the house. We watched and waited then the dog squatted I pushed the button. BOOM, it scared the dog so bad it took off running as hard as it could go. The woman had a safety leash attached to her wrist that will not release that big 100 lb dog jerked that women threw the air she landed in the gravel about 10 ft from our mail box. The dog never slowed down dog pulled that woman about 30 ft through gravel and asphalt it skinned her up pretty bad. That woman never walked her dog on our street every again.