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Gary350
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Re: Garden jokes, please post them.

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Nyan
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Okay, as close to gardening as I can get right now...

Three Gardeners were hit by lightning and died...

As they got to the Pearly Gates, St. Peter was standing there at the entrance. St. Peter said, "It's good to see you here, but before I can let you enter Heaven, you have to show me something from your pockets that reminds you of Christmas.

Well, the first guy fumbled around for a couple of minutes, and then pulled out his car keys. He shook them and told St. Peter, "These remind me of Jingle Bells!" Peter told the man to enter and off he went.

The second guy fumbled around in his pockets for quite a while, and then happily pulled out his lighter. He told Peter, "When I light my lighter it reminds me of the Star of Bethlehem!" Peter bid the man a happy entrance to Heaven, and off he went.

The last guy was really having trouble, and kept searching his pants pockets, shirt pockets and even his shoes... Finally after about twenty minutes, he pulled out some lady's underwear and said, "There! Now please let me into heaven!"

Peter looked at him for a bit, and finally asked, "How would a lady's underwear make anyone think of Christmas?


The guy replied. "It's simple - they're Carol's..."

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TomatoNut95
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I know this isn't a gardening joke, but... 😆😆😆😂😂😂
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Gary350
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Nyan
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Heard this one the other day...

I told my daughter to go lay down. When she asked why, I told her because all the cows were asleep in the fields.
She asked what that meant, and I told her that means its Pasture Bedtime...

Heh, heh...

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Pasture bedtime! :P :D :D :D :D

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Gary350
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Gary350
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TomatoNut95
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Gary350
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Meat comes from plants, cows, pigs, chickens, goats, lamb, all eat plants.
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Gary350
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I saw this on FB = Facebook.

WTF = Whats The Facts.

Facts are, too much nitrogen and tomatoes & potatoes will both grow large plants and produce a small harvest.

LOL.

I wonder what people that type abbreviations do with all their free time?

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HoneyBerry
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MATH PROBLEM:
A priest, a lawyer and an accountant were visiting the Master Gardener booth at the Farmer’s Market. The sign read “$5 per question”.
How much would the three visitors have to pay if they asked 13 questions?


ANSWER: $0
They all submitted their questions to the Helpful Gardener Forum instead.

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TomatoNut95
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GMO gossip...
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GreenThumbNail
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8) What's the difference between an almond (pronounced aal-muhnd) and an almond (pronounced aa-mundh)?

When it's still on the tree it's an almond (aal-munhd). When it falls off it gets the L knocked out of it!

HoneyBerry
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oops
never mind
sorry 😱

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Gary350
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TomatoNut95
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:lol:
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Gary350
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TomatoNut95 wrote:
Thu Aug 05, 2021 10:15 am
:lol:
I want that on my garage doors. LOL

Keith E Cantrell
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Oh, that's really funny. I too need this kind of door.

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Gary350
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Gary350
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digitS'
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HoneyBerry
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Here is an original cartoon draft that I created in 2003. I never got around to creating the final. So I decided to post a picture of the draft version here. I was using the pseudonym ‘Cottontail’ back then.
2E7AD238-8767-462A-B020-A1275C77AC51.jpeg

HoneyBerry
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Here is another cartoon draft that I created back in 2003.
2DDF4D62-1927-4E98-B6BF-ACE726515401.jpeg

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Gary350
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The word organic will make them sell.
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Gary350
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Those organic burial pods could be a real product, people are buying crazier things than that already! :P

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TomatoNut95
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Gary350
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digitS'
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Didn't shovel the new snow from the path through the backyard before dragging 2 cans out to the curb for pick up in the morning darkness. It's (slightly) uphill! Thought of this as appropriate :D

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Gary350
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Gary350
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Gary350
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,.,.,.,.,.,.,.
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ASpicyPepperKid
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What did the gardener say to his son don't worry you will grow into a beautiful Cauliflower.

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Gary350
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Gary350
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So you don't want squirrels in your garden. Did you know squirrels can fly. They use their tail as balance, spread out all 4 legs to flatten their body then fly through the sky like a glider and land on their feet every time like a cat and never get hurt. Then they do it again over and over. Watch the videos. LOL.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yop1TSGKZF0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cAd3ALa--gg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Ow9loWChb4

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/VK37iWbcb6Y

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