HelpfulGardener.com

I think I have finally realized what someone means by this statement ...

When person B's interests are deemed trivial and do not match the trivial interests of person A. Person A might say:

"Get a Life!" Or, "They need to Get a Life!"

The people who have been the most inclined to say this, in my personal experience, have been those who have been most seriously involved in what might be called "leisure activities."

Steve

There's an article I read that discussed intrinsic and extrinsic happiness goals. Basically, extrinsic happiness is when it depends on things outside of you like possessions (new car) or fame. Intrinsic goals are things like finding satisfaction in family, peacefulness, friendship. The article cites various studies that find that people who depend on fame, like actors or politicians, are deeply troubled. They tend to feel like they're living in a cage and experience anxieties of insecurity, that they're really frauds. While those who have intrinsic goals have a greater sense of well being. In other words, it's not always good to get what you want. But it's good to get what you need.

"Get a life" depends on how you define life, but for most of us it includes friends, loved ones, personal and social connections, work that is satisfying (whether paid or not), ways to have fun that use the whole person, body, mind, creativity, etc. (TV & video games do NOT count!). If you are missing one of these, you may notice the lack, but can still be doing fine. Missing two or especially three, you probably need to get a life!

Rainbow you kill me "(TV & video games do NOT count!)", yes they are just distractions, sometimes a way to relax, I watch TV at lunch often, and some week end nights, mostly movies on the weekends, I watch very little pro sports, and never watch reality shows. If someone likes lots of TV fine for them, I have too much going on to spend a lot of time there.

The Rolling Stones said it in a song "you can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes you can get what you need".
I know lots of people that get things just for the status of them, if it is not something I need for a reason, or will use and enjoy then I feel I don't want it. I sometimes get excited about something I got, and just have to talk about it, but it is about what I can do with them, or if I enjoy them; like a guitar or some art or a tool. Sometimes some things can be life enhancement tools, but things one gets to out do the Jones are just burdens; I care little if I impress anyone with possessions. I do have an impressive list of jokes although.
I get a lot of satisfaction from doing things I enjoy, I also get a lot of satisfaction from accomplishing things. Family, my wife, and being with and doing things with people I like is important to me. I feel laughing every day keeps you much healthier in mind and body, I like people who make me laugh, and are upbeat. Spending time out doors in the yard and garden are always good times to me.
learning things, going places, and finding new experiences are some of the stuff I value doing.
I feel if you genuinely like people you will have a better life your self, it comes back to you in so many ways.
Oh my; I am almost getting philosophical here!

A few people in my family tell me to "get a life" because they see my recreational activities as undignified for a 50 year old, but they stop pretty quick once they realize the reason I didn't reply on Facebook is that I'm elbows deep in mud and experimental herbs or hacking through a dungeon with a group of adventurers. We've all got something quirky that makes us go "Wooooah, that's cool." It's fun to meet someone who looks like an ordinary responsible adult, then discover on closer acquaintance they're really an expert on Viking jewelry or they grow the best tomatoes this side of the Rockies. You gotta do boring stuff to survive, but your real life can be whatever you want it to be.

hahaha

Rainbowgardener and Tomf, I think I'll just point to digitS's OP rather than saying anything

...this part...

When person B's interests are deemed trivial and do not match the trivial interests of person A

We have that going on right here with my gardening activities and DH's Sunday football
-- I came in to take a break and made some comments about the garden that got the insipid "uh huh" response, then he turned around to me at commercial break and said something about the football game and I think one of the player,s performance, but -- and to be fair, I WAS tired -- but I zoned out and had to tell him that I started out listening, but didn't retain the last half of what he said. He looked at me triumphantly and said that's exactly what happens TO HIM when I'm telling him about some tomato.

That's why I hang out around here so much! There are people who are INTERESTED in all this gardening stuff and will most of the time make some kind of comment back.

huh?

.

.

DD was over yesterday afternoon. I was saying something about something garden-related. DW interrupts about how she was repairing one of DD's garments (the reason DD showed up). DW finds it easier to do whatever she wants, then apologize later.

I finish my sentence but still have a big mouthful on the differences between the Asian greens I'm planting in the greenhouse, or something or other. I get an "oh" from DD ...

That morning, I was over at the neighbor's whose comment about how others need to "get a life" prompted this thread. He has been going through a kind of rough patch brought on by age and health. His comment actually had to do with televised football . I'm sure he is having real trouble going from active hobbies to spectator ... Anyway, he has bought an old Ford . I was able to talk to him a little about what my brother did with a '36 ... I try not to be one dimensional.

Steve
I told him his car is "exquisite." It is!

Or, "if you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with."