Teach Your Children Well.

[Charlie MV]

Night number 6 with mom getting settled in. We did a "library" for her and put a 26 inch flat screen in the room hooked up to Direct TV. I was curious about her thoughts on HDTV which she had never seen. If she is anything , she is an exercise in understatement, but she did say "Oh my, that's really a clear picture". Elaine checked on her 10 minutes ago and she was sitting in a strong straight back arm chair doing her exercises watching the inaugural festivities I recorded for her on CNN.

At 8PM I put on the 6:30 CBS news which I have set to record every day for her. Kenny Chesnie was singing when I started the news for her. I don't think she totally understands how she's seeing the nightly news at 8PM but she really doesn't question the small stuff. The thing she did question was how she was going to see the song that Kenny was singing since I put on the CBS news. I asked her to trust me. After the news ended, I backed CNN up to where Kenny was singing previously. She said "thank you"...no questions. She's 92. She chooses her questions sparingly.

As I mentioned she's watching the recorded inaugural while doing her daily isometrics. What I didn't mention is that she was exercising to Stevie Wonder who was singing when Elaine went to check on her at 10. She has really enjoyed the party. I think I'm going to get her a 32" TV, hook up a sound system and see what happens. I also think I have a new subject to write about.

I almost forgot to explain the dual purpose of the title. The lesser reason is a few of my friends are going to the Crosby Stills Nash concert. The main reason behind it is that Mom is a life long Republican who voted for Obama. I asked her why. She said she believed in free public education and affordable health care. She taught me well.

[DoubleDogFarm]

Don't you ever ask them why, if they told you, you would cry,
So just look at them and sigh and know they love you.

Good for you Charlie.

Eric

[tomf]

Don't you ever ask them why, if they told you, you would cry,
So just look at them and sigh and know they love you.

Good for you Charlie.

Eric

you have been getting down with the music lately.

Charlie, we have had my wife's dad for over 6 years now, he is 93. We have a TV in his bed room but it never gets used, he is always at the big screen in the living room. Years ago I asked him how he liked watching a HD big screen and he said "oh I don't care, I have been watching my 13" BW for years", even though I put a bigger TV in his bed room he never turns it on. We dearly love the old guy but, get used to being the servents.

[rainbowgardener]

Love that song!

Wonderful thing you guys are doing, caring for elderly parents like that.

It is not my ambition to live into my 90's and have to depend on my son (or anyone else), though he has already told me he would take me in if I needed that (sweet guy!).

[LA47]

I have nothing but admiration for anyone taking care of an elderly relative. We had my aunt live with us for quite a while before her daughter decided to take over. It was not a good solution and eventually we had to take over again. By then her dementia had progressed where it was no longer safe for her to live in a normal home. She would try to cook..at 3 am.. then forget and go back to bed with the stove still on, too many things that could injure her or all of us. We finally had to place her in a nursing home. It broke my heart to do that but I felt I had no choice even though I still feel some guilt.

[rainbowgardener]

I don't think you should feel guilt for putting someone in a place where they can get 24/7 skilled care in protected circumstances. You would feel very bad if you kept her with you and she got hurt, your house got burned down, etc.

[Charlie MV]

I don't think you should feel guilty either. If mom were a danger to herself or us we would have to get more help or find a suitable place. She is 95% mentally and just a bit wobbly physically. I'm teaching her a new button on the DVR every few days.

I am positive that if I see that age I won't understand the technology of the day. I've prerecorded stuff she likes and she can pause the show, shower and start it back unassisted.

But count ourselves fortunate that neither of the two parents we've lived with and cared for had no serious mental issues. Pop died with dementia and lived with PTSD from WW2 and there is no way we could have attempted this with him. Find something else to feel bad about.

As a side note. The happiest day in the life of a boat owner is the day they buy their boat. The second happiest day is the day they sell it. Saturday was the second happiest day of our lives I guess. We sold The Shop.

[applestar]

Oh no! Really? I feel like we at HGGF have been part of your seasonal trials and tribulations with your boat. You've told us some wonderful, sometimes amazing and often funny stories.

[tomf]

You said the shop? the cabinet shop? or the Boat? No Boat parties?

[Charlie MV]

The boat was called The Shop Tom. I thought it fit since I spent my life in the shop.

Kind of like a reporter I knew who called her boat On Assignment.

[LA47]

Thanks for your support of my decision about my aunt. It is just sooo hard to 'feel' it when I still remember her crying and begging me to let her come home, that she would be really good. So sad. She did adjust and now, in her mind, the nursing home is now her home and she gets scared if she is away from it too long. That makes me feel better about it.

Dh and I decided to buy a pontoon boat a few years ago. 26 foot 'back yard' is what we call it. Last year we didn't take it out as we were too busy. We need to replace the seats as the Texas heat did a number on them but we're looking forward to taking it out. We also have a 12' Livingston fishing boat that I really enjoy. The pontoon is Mike's baby and the Livingston is mine. When the time comes to get rid of either, I'm sure it will be a sad/ happy day too.

[ElizabethB]

When my Dad put his eldest sister in a nursing home we had the biggest row ever. I just knew that being there would kill her. In hind sight I know that it was the right thing to do. My Mother is 81 will be 82 in august. she is basically very healthy and mentally right there but I know the day is coming when we will have to make other arrangements for her. right now my 46 year old brother and his 7 year old daughter are living with her. That takes some of the burden off. Mom still likesto get on the riding mower and mow her acre of land. The 3 girls still help her with the care of her beds. I have noticed recently that she is more easily distracted. She has difficulty focusing an big task. She will spend a lot of time on small things instead. Although very healthy she has been having problems with her right shoulder and arm which limits her ability to do things. We all monitor her closley. She recently had cateract surgery which is a good thing because she did not realize how bad her vision was. She does still drive. As long as my brother is with her she is OK. Once he moves out we will need to find a smaller place for her. Our hope is a condo or town house where she does not have as much maintenance but can still live independently. My Mother is a very strong, remarkable woman. My Dad died in 06 from suicide. My wonderful Mother has blossomed. All of her life she has hidden herself and her strength. In the last 6 years - 7 April 1st. she has come into her own. She totally amazes me. She is beautiful. Looking at her you would give her 15 years on the less side. Much to our delight she has become outspoken and opionated.
She travels with her senior friends. She has a male friend who has been asking her to marry him for 4 years. Her response was that as much as she loved him she did not want to be responsible for caring for another old man. Go Mom! I do worry about her. She is the ROCK of our family.

In my mind I know that I will have to bury her. In my heart I cringe from the thought

My Niece and her husband recently spent a year teaching English in South Korea. The children they taught spent 12- 15 hours per day in school with the intent that they would provide for their parents and grandparents.

We all have aging parents (relatives). Making decisiions about their long term care is always so difficult. I would love to take my Mther in to live with me. I keep telling G that I want to move to the country and have a house with a suite for my Mother. I have no children so when I can no longer care for myself I am screwed.

Bless you all for caring for your loved ones. Hope you have someone to care for you.

[rainbowgardener]

"We all have aging parents (relatives)"

Not everyone is so blessed ... by the time I was 28, I had no living close relatives except my younger sister.

When you think about how hard it is dealing with your parents aging, remember the alternative. I was already on my own when my mom died and living far away, but still I felt like I had no safety net. When my same age friends got in some kind of jam or wanted help getting a car or whatever, they called their parents. I had no parents to call.

[LA47]

I understand, RG, as I lost my Dad when I was 21 and Mom when I was 24. I was lucky in that I had DH. He was my rock as the rest of my family had scattered to the 4 winds. I was in my 30's before I 'discovered' my aunt lived less than 200 miles away. I became very close to her....my stand-in Mom.