Winter Blues

[LA47]

I hope the flowers, and posting cheered you up, ElizabethB.
The drift in topic to hoarders really made me think. We moved from a large home to a smaller one. I got rid of many things but my smaller home is still so cluttered. I feel inspired now and plan on getting rid of more of my treasures (junk!). That's a good winter project but also kind of depressing as I only kept the things I really liked. I'll have to keep reminding myself I'll be happier in the long run. 2 of my grandkids are coming for Christmas so I'll let them pick what they want. The rest I'll donate to the local seniors center. They have a thrift store and use all they make from it to help the local seniors.

[rainbowgardener]

I think you will be much happier once you declutter, LA. People confuse the memories and sentiment with the thing it is invested in. You can donate the thing and still have the memories. One thing that helps sometime is to take a picture of the object before you donate it. Then you can keep a little scrapbook of the pictures, maybe write out the story that goes with it, where it came from, what the associated memory/ sentiment is. That scrapbook then becomes a repository of all those memories and could be passed on in the family at some point, but it doesn't clutter your house.

If you ever watch the HGTV shows about getting a house ready to sell, the main thing they always do is de-clutter. Every house feels so much better de-cluttered - roomier, airier, prettier, freer.

Think about what it costs you to keep all those things. Everything you own owns you. You have to care for it, dust, polish, clean, maintain. It absorbs heat, so the more stuff in your house, the higher the heating bill. It constrains your use of the space. Etc, etc.

[Green Mantis]

rainbowgardener.....WOW I didn't know that, that the more stuff in a house, the more expensive your heating costs are

OK more is going now!!!! I think this conversation is helping a bunch of us.

That "Thought" we weren't clutteraholics I think "I" need to think again... Help!!!!

[digitS']

It might be like changing computers because of some failure. Several years ago, I went to the bother of having 1 hard-drive transferred to another. Then, I learned that I couldn't access half of what was there because of different operating systems ! I'm not sure if I missed a thing.

Next time, I put what I thought was a failing computer in the basement and bought a new one. For awhile, I carried a thumb-drive or or CD up & down the basement stairs. Then, the computer in the basement really did fail ! I'm not sure if I missed a thing.

Now, to get back to non-digital "stuff:"

I am having real trouble, in this life, convincing DW of the value of cabinetry! Oh, she makes real good use of what is in the kitchen - too good of use . But, there are things like credenzas that could go, even in a living room. We used to have things like sideboards in old homes. Of course, the buffet has been around forever but has come to be some sort of "display" in a modern home (read "non-storage").

Back to the living room, a bookcase is nice. It doesn't necessarily have to just hold books - now that we are beyond the "book" age. I built one years ago with doors, so much the better. I don't like huge "entertainment centers" but that just may be me. In the bedroom, I don't really know how to pronounce an "armoire" but a "wardrobe" is a good old-fashioned word. However, you will need to check the back wall often to learn if there's a passage to Narnia !

And speaking of walls, If they are really too close in and you don't have enuf floor space either, there are off-site storage units. Now, I don't like them either but I ran into a brick wall when I suggest one to DW. But, she is needing to find some kind of solution before too many more years pass. She will even try to get something that is broken past me and the garbage can because it is somehow valuable enuf to give to Goodwill!

Dang, I'd just like more room to throw the cat but I will be giving her a 2nd chest-of-drawers for Christmas! I haven't a clue why she hasn't gotten 1 for herself like 10 years ago.

Steve
edited to ask: Am I an "Enabler?"

[ElizabethB]

I found closet maid organizers very helpful - literally tripled the space. Shelving around the perimeter of the room 12" - 18" below the ceiling. George has lots of map of his favorite hunting and fishing areas. Of course he doesn't use them he uses Google Earth. Any way I framed some in plain black frames and hung them in his office. They really are nice to look at. For the rest I got a tube from a carpet roll from Lose's, cut it into different lengths and mounted to a piece of plywood and spray painted. I used a ptouch and labeled each tube. Vertical storage takes up a lot less room.

Also space bags really work and are a great space saver.

[Green Mantis]

Guess I'm going to have to use my gardening friends here, to help me get through this.

Got into some kitchen stuff that I haven't seen in 5yrs. I have come to the conclusion that if we ever move again....

I am going to wander through the house, pack a few things "I" want then

when the car truck van? (Whatever we have at the time) is full, the rest

is getting sold!!!! Have an auction.

What I am finding is things are missing, somethings broken, somethings

totally outdated, that I have since replaced with things that work much

better for me in my life right now. "Now" discovered that our hotwater tank

is going to have to be replaced, just doesn't heat enough water.

One shower early in the morning, then one load through the dishwasher,

and now "no" hot water!!! I have a "lot" of dishes that need

washing. After 5 yrs packed away. Oh boy, there are a lot of things that

will be donated to people in need. Because boy, it's not me that needs

kitchen stuff....

[rainbowgardener]

Good resolution!

Organization helps, but I think the real answer is not more and more storage solutions and more and more shelves, cabinets, dressers, etc filling up your space, but LESS STUFF. (More Fun, Less Stuff! )

And it maybe just me, but I think the proliferation of off-site storage rental units is just a sign of how many of us own too much. Except for special circumstances (temporarily in transition between one place and another), if you can have something in off-site storage where you clearly won't see it very often, you probably don't need it.

Peter Menzel was one of the authors of a book called Material World. He went around the world taking pictures of families in front of their houses with all their possessions spread out around them. It would probably be in your library and some photos from it are here:

https://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/ ... er-menzel/

Very revealing!

Another interesting read is Twelve by Twelve, by William Powers. The 12 by 12 in the title refers to the dimensions of the one room off the grid cabin he lived in for awhile. He writes well of what it was like adjusting to that life style and how he came to appreciate it, not as sacrifice but as adding joy to his life.

And lest I sound preachy, let me be sure to say, I am an American and I also have too much stuff (no storage unit though! ) I'm not a hoarder, but I am an information junkie and books and papers always tend to pile up around me.... Since I started working with hoarders, I have thought a lot about these issues and have been steadily de-cluttering my life.

[tomf]

Oh god!
My wife is a bit of a hoarder and she clutters every space she can. We had a professional who is a friend come by and try to help. It is hard not to just give up but I hate living in a mess. I do my best to keep the main parts of the house clean but the office is a pile and she has rooms upstairs just packed with junk. Someday I will just freak out and toss every thing that we do not use or need away or give it to Goodwill. There is some kind of non rational need for and attachment to much of the junk we store. Things are not as bad as what I sometimes see where someone has their whole house stuffed but I think if it were not for me it may be that way.

[Green Mantis]

rainbowgardener........You can preach at me anytime!!!

No more storage doesn't help, only another place to fill up.

I have looked at people in those little cabins on TV and thought, how nice it
would be to "not" need to fill it all up.

We Canadians and Americans have W-A-Y too much STUFF....

No wonder we all usually have debt. Storage lockers are OK for

their purpose, but to use them as a place to just ditch more "stuff" is not

good, we had to rent storage lockers for our stuff when we were in the 5th

wheel trailer, thankfully now only one left. That is hubby's garage tools,

because he really has no place for that, some is expensive, so need it

under lock and key.

Our Grandson's friend is here, and I asked him if he needs anything for a

kitchen. He said and his room mate could use a toaster, guess who now has a toaster, lol. We had 4 toasters???? ( Grandson 19, lives with us)

Then he said he could use a few more coffee cups, I told him they will be coming up!!!

Just have to find them "all" the others are too small, according to hubby.

We bought a really nice set last year and the others now are goinging to be outta here.

But after watching the very first clearing clutter show, where the fellow took everything out on the lawn, had them sort, keep toss stuff, then have a garage sale was the best I thought.

We have had many garage sales over the yrs. and once you get it outside, after a long day, the last thing you want to do is bring it back in. After watching that show, I understood WHY he did that now.

It's shocking to see everything spread out on a lawn. Un-real...

I do appreciatte your telling me the names of the books, but if I can't get

them at the library, then won't be reading them.

My aunt that had the 3 houses full top to bottom also had 8 storage lockers rented, totally full.

They would go to auctions and outbid people just
because, they didn't need it, but didn't want anybody else to have them either. It really was a sickness.

Scares the heck out of me, right about now. This is not good!

[tomf]

The sad part is all that we had to buy all that junk!

[rainbowgardener]

Wow... lots of really sad stories. It is a sickness. In fact in the new edition of the Diagnostic Manual coming out for therapists, there will be a new diagnosis for hoarding. GM the aunt with the three houses and 8 storage lockers is a classic case. If there were any rationality to it, at some point they would realize that this is costing them so much money and ruining lives. As tom says all that stuff was purchased, in her case the houses and the rentals as well as all the stuff to fill them. That's a fortune that could have been put to a lot better use. And houses that aren't lived in and the stuff that's in them not used all tend to deteriorate over time as well as attract rodents, insects, etc.

It is a sickness that has features of obsessive compulsive and features of addiction (why it needs its own diagnosis). In my experience, like other addictions, it is progressive. That is if left untreated, without some kind of intervention, it only gets worse, never better. Though they make a million good resolutions, the situation gets worse and worse.

You can't make a person change any more than you can make them stop drinking. But you can keep talking to them about the way their problem impacts you, the more money the family would have, the more use of the rooms in the house, what it is like living in the mess. You can encourage them to seek help. And set some firm clear limits about the space you need for yourself. If the partner is ready and willing to work on it, you can suggest the two of you work together on clutter busting a little bit at a time. If you do a little bit each day, progress will get made.

This has links to a lot of good tips:

https://www.getorganizedwizard.com/blog/ ... rder-help/

There's tons of great decluttering info out there these days, you just have to be willing to use it.

[tomf]

Thanks for the link rainbow, I did some reading and bookmarked it. I will be reading more of it.

[Green Mantis]

tomf.....So will I. Also thanks from me rainbowgardener.

Unfortunately I was doing so well until we moved to Alberta 5 yrs ago. We bought a farm in a hurry ( big mistake) hated it out there, was really far from anything. So sold and moved into a small town, closer to olds.

We started a vehicle heated storage business, but costs went way up, and people didn't want to pay more for the extra heat costs etc. so ended up selling "again" Stayed in both places 2 yrs. Lost money on both.

But in each place, there was no place for hubby and I to unpack our inside stuff. 1st place, we had brought our daughter and her two boys with us.
We stayed in the basement, as her one son has disabilties, and couldn't do stairs well. So we set up a sort of kitchen, with a two burner hotplate to cook on.

Next place was a commercial building, we lived in the front offices, but only gained a fridge and a sink, "still" no stove. So still didn't un-pack the things we brought out with us, not only that but the items we purchased to use on the farm, was packed and got mixed in with a bunch of stuff, so ended up buying more... Then when we moved into the 5th wheel trailer, bought more stuff to cook with, but it wasn't set up for as long a time as we were in it, to cook much.

In the commercial building, we "did" get rid of a huge amount of things, because we had the room to spread out and sort through. We got rid of almost all our farm stuff, but I'm still finding smaller things, which I keep putting up for sale, and getting rid of as I can. But the "WORST" was sorting through not only our items in that commercial building, but our daughters things as well.

Then she decided she hated Alberta and moved back to B.C. with her one son ( with the disabilities) the other one is living with us. He didn't want to go back. Soooo here we are!

Now going through about 4 sets of kitchen items, and yes, that article is right, you DO lose things, and end up with multiples of a lot of things.

So now we finally hit D day (dump day) It's not good. But I'm at least finally getting a chance to go through it and donate a huge amount of it, to people that "really" need it.

rainbowgardener, you hit the nail on the head about my aunt, but she wouldn't listen to "anybody" ever...

So to even "think" of getting in even a quarter of that type of mess scares the heck out of me.

tomf....Your'e right, we actually buy this stuff with hard earned money,

Scary isn't it?????..........

The "Only" thing I wish, is that I has someone here to help me go through this, have a good laugh over things and keep going..one tote at a time. I did this sort of things many times with others, but now when I need help, no one is here. So hopefully my friends here won't get fed up of me.

[ElizabethB]

I admit to clutter - not hoarding like on that TV show but even so drawers, closets, cabinets are all over full of junk. Funny how a thread changes - mayby junk is a big reason for winter blues. I just packed 4 boxes in my car and I am on my way to a locally run non-profit thrift store to donate. They support local orananizations and I have looked into their business model and find very low overhead - unlike the big name thrift stores. So 4 boxes of depression out of the door. Plus a couple f bags of Georges "fat man clothes". He has lost 100 lbs so these huge bulky clothes are out of the door. Feels good.

Later

[Green Mantis]

ElizabethB......Congratulations..... Tell hubby congrats too.

Doesn't it make you feel good.

Would you believe I found another toaster! This one got thrown out!!!
Hubby has celiacs, so have to have seperate toasters,but....

[ElizabethB]

yeah - major good and George feels better also - he originally lost 140 lbs but has put 40 lbs back on. He started at 354 lbs. He has PROMISED to get back on his diet January 1st and get down to 200 lbs. Then my job kicks in to keep him on maintenance which is difficult since he travels and eats out a lot. Looking to Paleo for maintenance. Love my man. He had to have heart valve replacement 4 years ago and will be having knee replacement in February. His weight plays a big issue. In the last 2 weeks he has fallen 3 times in the woods while hunting. Really bad since he is on Coumadin - bruising can result in a major bleed. Ow well we just keep on trucking. Got the car loaded and ready to head out.

Yeah for decluttering!

[rainbowgardener]

yeah, big congratulations to both of you!

Although I find the Hoarder TV show kind of fascinating, I don't like it, because for shock value they focus on the absolute most extreme cases, houses with cat or even human feces all over, not even paths to walk, you have to walk over or climb over trash everywhere, etc. That enables a lot of people to say see, I'm not a hoarder. My house isn't filthy, doesn't have feces, has paths to walk through. So it feeds their denial. In fact, little paths to walk through is a hallmark of the typical hoarder. In the "hoarder community" they call them goat trails.

There are obviously degrees of severity of the problem, but if your house has goat trails with stuff piled up on both sides and you have rooms in your house you can't use for their original function any more because they are so full of stuff, someone in the house is a hoarder.

[Green Mantis]

rainbowgardener......I agree with you, they are disgusting.....Those Hoarders shows make me sick to watch.

I actually find I can't watch them anymore, unless they are about just

people that are basically clean, just out of control.

The rest, are just plain disgusting, I hate to say it, but these people that

have inspectors out should be lucky I'm not one of them. Most of those

house would be demo'd.

It's really sad to see people in those kinds of messes.

[rainbowgardener]

It is sad/ shocking/ disgusting, but they are NOT typical hoarders.

[tomf]

I was in a house like that, where you had paths thru the junk and the person who's house it was told me that the room I was in was the cleanest room!

[Green Mantis]

rainbowgardener......Soooo glad to hear they aren't the typical hoarder.

Probably more like me right now, Not good.

Got through a bunch of totes today though, that made me very happy. Now to get Grandson and Hubby to bring more totes upstairs.

I'm glad I didn't have more up here today, I got through the ones that were here and got "most" of the stuff put away. Need to find "all" the kitchen items, then I can finally decide what cupboards and drawers I want to put the things I'm keeping in.

I will be Sooo Happy when this is done.

[Green Mantis]

Oh boy, I hit paydirt in these totes, these are the ones I haven't seen for 5 yrs. So exciting to get into. Isn't that sad what makes me happy.

This is just like Christmas, never mind presents. I'm just having fun with this.

Told my kids I don't want anything except a bouquet of flowers for Christmas. I found 2 lovely vases, I forgot I had.

I can see saving a "bunch" of money after this, I don't need to buy kitchen items anymore! Or a WHOLE bunch of other stuff either.

Have 4 totes to finish going through for the kitchen, then more, a lot more....
Maybe I will find all our nice new towels and facecloths? Guess they aren't so new anymore, 5 yrs old.

Now to get hubby to empty tools out of two of my kitchen cupboards, he loaded them in there when the contractors were in here.

But he's about to get them all put in a bucket or something, because they are outta there tonight!!!

It's what's in the remaining totes that is going to be shockers. If they are anything like the kitchen stuff, there will be lots of things I totally forgot I have.

My "only" problem in the kitchen is after the first shelf in the upper cupboards, I need a stool to stand on...
We had some other upper cabinets over the fridge and stove when we started reno's, but took them down. The contractor said well you'll want to put those back up, I said "why" the look on his face was funny actually.

But if I can't reach them, stuff will only get put in there and forgotten. The others that are left, will have dishes that we take out when we BBQ.

Oh my, what a tangled web we weave when we pack too much stuff...

[LA47]

I got a very small start today. I got the kitchen drawers and cabinets cleaned out and have a big bag for the G-Kids to go through. Next I'll start on ALL my MANY knick-knack dust collectors! I probably have over 300 hummingbird figurines. Thankfully small ones so they fit in a 3 x 3 x 1 foot cabinet but they are so crowded that it is a mess! I feel better going in my kitchen.

[rainbowgardener]

Sounds like people are making good progress! (Including me, see my post elsewhere about redecorating and decluttering our upstairs sitting room!) I agree you will get more pleasure from a dozen or so of the best/favorite figurines attractively displayed than from hundreds of them jumbled up and none very visible or well displayed. And then someone else can get pleasure from the donated ones.

The culture contributes to this issue -- once your friends know that you love hummingbird related items, then it becomes a very easy thing for them to keep gifting you with. In recent years I've been telling everyone re Xmas and birthdays, I don't need any more stuff, think about experiences instead, movie/concert tickets, things to do, consumables, etc.

Incidentally, the junk furniture from the sitting room that St. Vincent de Paul was supposed to pick up, they refused, saying it wasn't in good enough condition! I guess we really did keep it too long. Now I guess I will have to try Freecycle.

[Green Mantis]

LA47........and rainbowgardener....

I guess little bits at a time, you with your hummingbirds, me one tote at a
time, in the kitchen. rainbowgardener, saw in another post were you did all
the clean up in your room.

Congrats to "all" of us, lol.

But I'm sure freecycle will find your furniture homes. I honestly think some of these places are getting right picky.

I know trying to sell used almost anything in Alberta is "really" hard, they have oil money and want all new.

Then when the oil work is slow, everybody has their big fancy homes and trucks up for sale.

Things are good right now, you should see the fancy trucks right now that are around everywhere.

We'll all just keep plugging away and keep each other going. Should be
interesting. We keep picking up more people here, with all their excess goodies.

[Green Mantis]

Oh I am so excited.... We actually were "sort" of organized enough to cook our first dinner in here.

Was so nice to eat real food again.

Still getting things out of the totes to organize in the kitchen, now finding the doubles of some things, and things I'm not keeping.

2 more big totes to go through, and one medium sized one, for the kitchen.

Then start on the rest of the totes one at a time, argggg how could I have let this happen??

This coming weekend, hubby has 4 days off, so our grandson is going to

help and they are going to put flooring down upstairs, and in our "very" little
office.
Then we can get our bookcases out of the dining room, plus the dvd cabinets.

Maybe we will be able to get our table and chairs organized, and have a
dining room "finally" a place to sit and eat, instead of sitting on the chesterfield.

Next comes the place where the tv goes. Get that all set up, oh I am Sooo excited.

I think now, that it's a good thing we didn't find a place to rent, this way we are actually going to go through every last tote we have packed, sort it all, downsize and "not" bring more into the house, except food, lol.

How are the rest of you doing??????

[LA47]

I had good intensions but had to drive 60 miles to the 'big' town to finish off my Christmas gifts. Our Bunn coffee pot is so old that it has not been acting right so Hubby and I decided get us one and call it 'our' present to each other. I did walk around yesterday and picked out a few things. I'll get a box tomorrow and start. G-kinds will be here in 9 days so I want them to chose what they want. I just want to donate it but Hubby said wait untill I'm done as I have have some expensive or unique things that my be worth advertising. I just want them gone so I don't say...well, (whiney voice used here) I really like this so maybe I should keep it.

[Green Mantis]

LA47......Hey everybody gets sidetracked once in awhile.
I know where you are coming from, you look twice at it, and then you start doing a re-think.
That's where things go off the rail.. Lol.

I'm still going through the darn kitchen stuff...

Now it's not so much fun anymore... But I am into the stuff that will be donated.

I honestly cannot believe that I managed to drag all of this stuff together and "think" I needed it all.

Thankfully I went through all my china, ornaments, little collectables? before
we moved 5 yrs ago.

So I only have what fits in my china cabinet, which is "not" huge. It's a nice rounded corner cabinet, with lights in it.

I absolutely "refuse" to put anymore in it. Plus don't have stuff around the house sitting here and there.

Seems to be 2 real "bad" spots for me...Office items, papers etc. and Kitchen stuff.

I am scared to even think about going through the office stuff.

Then this morning, I did it AGAIN....Didn't start the dishwasher properly ( it's new, and I'm just getting used to it)
So couldn't un-load it and load up again. But did un-load one whole big tote while I was waiting.

Hubby has 3 days off, so is busy taking old junk off the walls where our little office is going.

So once he's done in there, we can move our bookcases in, plus dvd cabinets, hopefully a little desk and the computer. I hope.

Then we can actually put out table and chairs in the dining room. YAY...

I am Sooooooo glad we bought a SMALL house.

[Green Mantis]

Oh my goodness, thought I was done today, except washing it all.

Not I had all the totes I had upstairs emptyed, but did say I couldn't find my goodware dishes to hubby.

So he goes down to the basement and "finds" another tote of kitchen items...Worst part is, it doesn't even have the good dishes in there

So down there "lurking" somewhere is "another" tote of dishes. This is getting right depressing now.

But on a brighter note, I have got a bunch of stuff set aside to donate.

I know I will be finding more!!!! Nuts......

[ElizabethB]

I love the way this thread has evolved. I think our clutter issue really got out of control 3 years ago. We had a water leak that ruined the floors in all 3 bedrooms and the hall. We had to empty all of the closets and drawers in order to get stuff out and the floors dried and new ones installed. Everything ended up in the dining/sitting room and the den. Only a little of what we took out got back to closets and drawers mainly because so much of it was junk. Well the den is de-junked. I have 3 boxes sitting next to the door ready to be donated. I made a start in the dining/sitting room. slill have a ways to go in there. Put my project n hold this past week because G had some use or lose vacation so we did some joint errands and an overnight road trip. Just spending time together. Went out to dinner last night at a new little restaurant. Really good food and excellent service.

I digress. G has to go to Houston Monday and Tuesday. He will be leaving from there to take customers on a hunting trip in south Texas and won't be home until Sunday or Monday. So my first mission is to scrub down the now decluttered den from ceiling to floor. Then I will get back into to the dining/sitting room (refered to as the black hole) to continue the declutter process. I also have to get some Christmas shopping done.

It was kind of like Christmas going through boxes and bins. I found treasures that I forgot I had - not junk - stuff I will really either use or display. The treasures I re-boxed, labeled and put in the attic. Once the den and black hole are cleaned out I will be able to display my treasures.

Embarrassed to say that I have a 10' x 10' storage locker full. The majority of the furniture pieces I will be able to put into use. I also have lots of decorative items and art work that I will use. I am well aware that a lot of stuff will have to go. Since a lot of it is from departed family members my sibs will get first dibs. The rest will be donated. Talk about sick - I have already spent $1,200 in storage fees on this locker and won't be able to get to it until next year. Put a sign on my butt that says "kick me".

So my agenda for next week is to scrub down the den and finish decluttering the black hole. Hopefully have time to scrub it down as well. Finish my shopping.

The kitchen, pantry and laundry room are not in as bad shape. There is some clutter but I pretty much stay on top of that. Ther are a few things that need to go like small appliances that are NEVER used. I just need to empty and clean every cabinet and drawer. Now I need some suggestions. G collects ball caps - you know the ones - give aways with company logos. He has over 100 and can only wear one at a time. I am getting resistance on disposing of them. If he doesn't bend a little I will box them up and put them in the attic. After a while he will forget about them then out they go.

The final REALLY big hurdle will be his office. OMG! paper, paper, paper every where

Oh well - not going to worry about the kitchen or office until next year.

So glad every one is making such good progress. Keep it up.

[Green Mantis]

ElizabethB............

I got up this morning, the sun is shining and I just feel like running away from home. This has really got me down. Everywhere I look there is "stuff", all out of order, and just a mess, waiting for a home "somewhere" Either here or somebody else's.
Then it hit me last night that CHRISTMAS is coming, way sooner than I ever thought. I'm supposed to be cooking the meal, our kids and grandkids ( only 7 of us total thankfully) are coming and I just want to run away...
This is not the time for Christmas, for me anyway. I am no where near ready.
The dishwasher hasn't stopped in days, the thing gets un-loaded then loaded up again....Never ending. What did I think I was? Some fancy CHEF?
This I "need" help on....I have a brand new breadmaker---except it's 5 yrs old!!! Still in the box, never unpacked.

WHAT should I DO with it???

Ideas anybody??????

RAINBOWGARDENER-----HELP????? I need ideas PLEASE??

ElizabethB----Your'e right this thread really did evolve into something totally different. I DO think this stuff does cause winter blues!

I like a nice tidy home....this is "not" it. Hubby is working so hard getting our little office ready---Then measured the bookcases and to get the three in, it's 2 "inches" short on the one wall---I really could have cried when I heard that. We were really sure it was all going to fit, now? Have no idea what we will do.

Well hubby fixed the problem... He is going to move the light switch to the outside of the room, the reason it won't fit is because the doorway is on an angle. The bookcase would cover the lightswitch. So to get the two inches, it needs to be moved. Sooo more work.

Well if we can get that room ready today, the stuff can go in. I can actually get the dining room to look like a dining room tonight.
Because now it's full speed ahead...Or fuller speed ahead. Like we haven't been going full speed anyway. Arrrrgggg!!!!!

This whole thing is really getting me down. I just don't need Christmas in the middle of all of this.

Guess I'd better get off of here and back to un-loading the dishwasher etc.

[ElizabethB]

Green - don't get down. Get the kitchen and living spaces spruced up and stuff every thing in the other rooms until after Christmas. Since you do not have a mob for Christmas (we range from 25-35 all family and close friends) start cooking while you are cleaning. Caseroles can be cooked ahead and frozen. So can breads and deserts. Did you find you good dishes? Set your table and cover it with dry cleaner bags to keep the dust off. One less last minute thing to worry about. Take a break from the heavy organization until after Christmas. Allow yourself to enjoy the season and your family. Pour yourself a glass of wine, sit down and take a deep breath. When I was in a blue funk I was advised to get myself a bouquet of flowers which I did. Amazing how much better I felt after arranging my flowers. You need a break. You don't HAVE to get the office organized this minute. It can wait until after Christmas. As long as your living spaces and kitchen are half way decent you can take a break and enjoy Christmas with your family. That is so much more important than an organized house. Chin up kiddo - you will get there just don't be so hard on yourself.

Deep breathes, flowers, wine more deep breaths more wine. Amazing how much better you will feel. Oh - take a night off and go out to dinner and a movie with your husband. He is also stressed and the two of you need a little break from the insanity to reconnect.

Take care my friend. Don't let this process overwhelm you. You have me worried about you. Slow and easy from now until after Christmas. Promise? Please.

[Green Mantis]

ElizabethB....You are so kind with your thoughts. No didn't find my good dishes "yet" So they are "lurking" in a tote in the basement somewhere??

My kitchen counters are full of things to go in the dishwasher, again...
I have awhole bunch of kitchen utensils, and be darned, "what" did I find in this last tote....A whole bag full, of more of them.

Poor hubby is working away on the office, and it should be finished tonight.
Then bookcases/dvd cabinets go in there, then we can actually set up the dining room. It will all get done this week, but in the meantime I wish I knew how to make CESAR Drinks, LOL.
I'd be sitting here sorting, VERY happy, haha.

I'm sorry you are worried about me, but it's all been so stressful, what with the contractor driving us nuts, then trying to get organized in a hurry.

Then finding W-A-Y more than you ever imagined for things. Oh my!!!!

To be honest I NEVER thought we had this much stuff packed away in those totes. WOW!!!!!

The "ONLY" thing I can say is, I sure don't need or want another darn thing!!! EXCEPT FLOWERS.

ElizabethB.....I did look at flowers in the grocery store last night, they are so pretty. Once that dining room is done, I'm off to buy some!

Because I obviously really need a boost, Yep the wine, then a little more wine sounds fine, lol. I like Cesar's better though.

I'll be back on here and let you all know how things went by tonight.

[ElizabethB]

Whatever works for you - you REALLY need a break. You are pushing yourself to a breaking point. Don't go there. The junk isn't going anywhere. You can deal with it later. Shove it out of the way until after Christmas and allow yourself to enjoy your family. Take care Kiddo!

Flowers ASAP! Really great mood boost!

[LA47]

I second ElizabethB cure. I was getting all upset and the grandkids and great-grandson are coming on the 22nd and staying until the 27th! 4 of them! All I could think of is that I only have 1 spare room with a full size bed. Where was I going to put them all? How about feeding that many for 5 days. Then I took a deep breath and did a little planning. First the grandaughter and hubby=the bedroom, grandson and great-grandson=hideabed sofa. Food-fix ahead and freeze 2 meals, homemade chili and cornbread and lasagna. Now I'm getting excited. I have a back up plan in place to. It's called 'the local bar'!

[ElizabethB]

LA - like your back up plan.

I have a stepson, daughter-in-law and 2 grands - 12 boy and 9 year old girl. Our house is only 3 bedrooms and the 3rd bedroom is G's office. We have been setting out a blow up mattress for the childrenin the office. They are now too old too share a room much less a bed. My idea is to put a single sleeper chair in the office and another in the dining/sitting room for the children. Functional furniture when they are not here and beds for them when they do visit.

[ElizabethB]

Green - you REALLY need to get out of the house. Go out to dinner, go for a walk with your husband and hold hands, go get those flowers even if your dining room is not done. Your stress level is over the top. Go easy girl. It really isn't that important. Your husband, your family, Christmas - THAT is important. Let it go for a while. You really remind me of myself. I can get so wrapped up that I forget about the joy of life. There is something in me that makes me want to be perfect. Ya know what - I am not perfect - not in any aspect of my life. At my age I have gotten an attitude - you either like this old B or you don't - I don't care. I have no one to impress. I have G and my family and friends who love me warts and all. That is not to say that I do not strut my stuff because I can and do on occassion. Just go easy Green. Take a break.

[Green Mantis]

ElizabethB and LA47.......Well I decided to take both your advise.

Decided that I don't want hubby and Grandson looking for anymore kitchen things. I have the last load in the dishwasher right now.

Tomorrow will be used to go through a bunch of pkgs that I ordered from various places, for Christmas presents, So need to open them up while no one is around and get them sorted and wrapped.

Then the other stuff will be a clean up sort, so I can get all the small junk out of the dining and living room.

It will take awhile in one way, and not so much in another. It's actually "really" going to get my mind off a lot of things. Plus make me really "see" things are happening.

Also wrapping Christmas gifts will get me more in the spirit of Christmas.

Unfortunately this sort, is something that only I can do, because it's my junk.

But perfect I'm not either, it's just that I want the place to actually look like a house, instead of a dump. I know, it's stuff that sits here. It won't go anywhere, Lol.

Hubby did get the office almost completely finished. Just some beading to put up in the corners, and change the light fixture. Plus they put all the bookcases and dvd cabinets in there, oh and the desk and computer. YAY.

He definately wants to finish the room before I load up books in there and dvd's. Can't believe how much furniture that room took, with the right organization. It doesn't even look messy either.

Tomorrow for me is going to be kind of like a rest, don't need to see cooking items. Sure is a lot going to go.....

I will actually be able to get the countertops tidy. Virtually nothing on there now. So a slow putz type of day.

Then tuesday night we "are" going to go out for supper and a drink. I need it!!!!

Might even be able to go get those flowers after supper too. I'd love that.

Didn't even realize how uptight I had gotten, until you both said something on here. Thanks, I needed the lecture.

[rainbowgardener]

Yeah, lots of good advice from ElizabethB.

I need to get pushing a little harder on Christmas too, it sneaked up on me! Have house guests arriving Friday!

Did soap making and hand lotion making yesterday, using my home made fragrance oils. Decided that some of the gift baskets will get little vials of fragrance oils in them, because I have some how accumulated way too many! When you use them, you only use a few drops at a time, it's hard to use them up...

So now what is left for the gift basket project is more baking and some candy making and assembling all the baskets. But I still do need to do a little shopping, for stocking stuffers and for MH who just would not be thrilled by any of the things I make!!

[ElizabethB]

Yeah Green! So glad you decided to lighten up on yourself. Unpacking and wrapping your gifts should really help lighten your mood. Put some Christmas music on while you do it. Focus on the joy your gifts will bring. I spoke to my Mother last night and she is getting a little stressed. My brother and sister-in-law will be arriving Thursday from Colorado. We also do Christmas Eve at her house. So she is trying to cook, clean house (which to my eyes is always immaculate but at 81 she thinks she has to dust moldings and wax her wood floors (yes she uses Johnson's paste wax on solid wood floors and has an old buffer to shine them up.) She is also stressed because she has not gotten her tree up. Anyway - I told her I will go over tomorrow and be her slave. Bless her heart - I could feel some of the stress leaving her even over the phone. I will pick up a bouquet of flowers on my way to her house.

It is easy for me to get caught up in minutiae and forget that this is a joyous season. I have to remind myself that none of us are getting any younger and the Christmas that we have left to share are limited.

A clean, organized house is much less important than the time and joy spent with my family.

Any who - once again I have rambled on.

Take care.