Winter Blues

Mon Dec 10, 2012 5:55 am

I hope the flowers, and posting cheered you up, ElizabethB.
The drift in topic to hoarders really made me think. We moved from a large home to a smaller one. I got rid of many things but my smaller home is still so cluttered. I feel inspired now and plan on getting rid of more of my treasures (junk!). That's a good winter project but also kind of depressing as I only kept the things I really liked. I'll have to keep reminding myself I'll be happier in the long run. 2 of my grandkids are coming for Christmas so I'll let them pick what they want. The rest I'll donate to the local seniors center. They have a thrift store and use all they make from it to help the local seniors.

Mon Dec 10, 2012 7:26 am

I think you will be much happier once you declutter, LA. People confuse the memories and sentiment with the thing it is invested in. You can donate the thing and still have the memories. One thing that helps sometime is to take a picture of the object before you donate it. Then you can keep a little scrapbook of the pictures, maybe write out the story that goes with it, where it came from, what the associated memory/ sentiment is. That scrapbook then becomes a repository of all those memories and could be passed on in the family at some point, but it doesn't clutter your house.

If you ever watch the HGTV shows about getting a house ready to sell, the main thing they always do is de-clutter. Every house feels so much better de-cluttered - roomier, airier, prettier, freer.

Think about what it costs you to keep all those things. Everything you own owns you. You have to care for it, dust, polish, clean, maintain. It absorbs heat, so the more stuff in your house, the higher the heating bill. It constrains your use of the space. Etc, etc.

Mon Dec 10, 2012 9:19 am

rainbowgardener.....WOW I didn't know that, that the more stuff in a house, the more expensive your heating costs are :shock:

OK more is going now!!!! I think this conversation is helping a bunch of us.

That "Thought" we weren't clutteraholics :oops:

I think "I" need to think again... Help!!!! :oops:

Mon Dec 10, 2012 9:29 am

It might be like changing computers because of some failure. Several years ago, I went to the bother of having 1 hard-drive transferred to another. Then, I learned that I couldn't access half of what was there because of different operating systems

! I'm not sure if I missed a thing.

Next time, I put what I thought was a failing computer in the basement and bought a new one. For awhile, I carried a thumb-drive or or CD up & down the basement stairs. Then, the computer in the basement really did fail

! I'm not sure if I missed a thing.

Now, to get back to non-digital "stuff:"

I am having real trouble, in this life, convincing DW of the value of cabinetry! Oh, she makes real good use of what is in the kitchen - too good of use :roll:

. But, there are things like credenzas that could go, even in a living room. We used to have things like sideboards in old homes. Of course, the buffet has been around forever but has come to be some sort of "display" in a modern home (read "non-storage").

Back to the living room, a bookcase is nice. It doesn't necessarily have to just hold books - now that we are beyond the "book" age. I built one years ago with doors, so much the better. I don't like huge "entertainment centers" but that just may be me. In the bedroom, I don't really know how to pronounce an "armoire" but a "wardrobe" is a good old-fashioned word. However, you will need to check the back wall often to learn if there's a passage to Narnia

!

And speaking of walls, If they are really too close in and you don't have enuf floor space either, there are off-site storage units. Now, I don't like them either but I ran into a brick wall when I suggest one to DW. But, she is needing to find some kind of solution before too many more years pass. She will even try to get something that is broken past me and the garbage can because it is somehow valuable enuf to give to Goodwill!

Dang, I'd just like more room to throw the cat but I will be giving her a 2nd chest-of-drawers for Christmas! I haven't a clue why she hasn't gotten 1 for herself like 10 years ago.

Steve
edited to ask: Am I an "Enabler?"

Mon Dec 10, 2012 9:45 am

I found closet maid organizers very helpful - literally tripled the space. Shelving around the perimeter of the room 12" - 18" below the ceiling. George has lots of map of his favorite hunting and fishing areas. Of course he doesn't use them he uses Google Earth. Any way I framed some in plain black frames and hung them in his office. They really are nice to look at. For the rest I got a tube from a carpet roll from Lose's, cut it into different lengths and mounted to a piece of plywood and spray painted. I used a ptouch and labeled each tube. Vertical storage takes up a lot less room.

Also space bags really work and are a great space saver.

Mon Dec 10, 2012 12:43 pm

Guess I'm going to have to use my gardening friends here, to help me get through this. :oops:

Got into some kitchen stuff that I haven't seen in 5yrs. I have come to the conclusion that if we ever move again.... :shock:

I am going to wander through the house, pack a few things "I" want then

when the car truck van? (Whatever we have at the time) is full, the rest

is getting sold!!!! Have an auction.

What I am finding is things are missing, somethings broken, somethings

totally outdated, that I have since replaced with things that work much

better for me in my life right now. "Now" discovered that our hotwater tank

is going to have to be replaced, just doesn't heat enough water.

One shower early in the morning, then one load through the dishwasher,

and now "no" hot water!!! :shock:

I have a "lot" of dishes that need

washing. After 5 yrs packed away. Oh boy, there are a lot of things that

will be donated to people in need. Because boy, it's not me that needs

kitchen stuff.... :oops:

Mon Dec 10, 2012 12:51 pm

Good resolution!

Organization helps, but I think the real answer is not more and more storage solutions and more and more shelves, cabinets, dressers, etc filling up your space, but LESS STUFF. (More Fun, Less Stuff! )

And it maybe just me, but I think the proliferation of off-site storage rental units is just a sign of how many of us own too much. Except for special circumstances (temporarily in transition between one place and another), if you can have something in off-site storage where you clearly won't see it very often, you probably don't need it.

Peter Menzel was one of the authors of a book called Material World. He went around the world taking pictures of families in front of their houses with all their possessions spread out around them. It would probably be in your library and some photos from it are here:

http://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/ ... er-menzel/

Very revealing!

Another interesting read is Twelve by Twelve, by William Powers. The 12 by 12 in the title refers to the dimensions of the one room off the grid cabin he lived in for awhile. He writes well of what it was like adjusting to that life style and how he came to appreciate it, not as sacrifice but as adding joy to his life.

And lest I sound preachy, let me be sure to say, I am an American and I also have too much stuff (no storage unit though!

) I'm not a hoarder, but I am an information junkie and books and papers always tend to pile up around me.... Since I started working with hoarders, I have thought a lot about these issues and have been steadily de-cluttering my life.

Mon Dec 10, 2012 1:42 pm

Oh god!
My wife is a bit of a hoarder and she clutters every space she can. We had a professional who is a friend come by and try to help. It is hard not to just give up but I hate living in a mess. I do my best to keep the main parts of the house clean but the office is a pile and she has rooms upstairs just packed with crap. Someday I will just freak out and toss every thing that we do not use or need away or give it to Goodwill. There is some kind of non rational need for and attachment to much of the crap we store. Things are not as bad as what I sometimes see where someone has their whole house stuffed but I think if it were not for me it may be that way. :oops:

Mon Dec 10, 2012 2:26 pm

rainbowgardener........You can preach at me anytime!!!

No more storage doesn't help, only another place to fill up.

I have looked at people in those little cabins on TV and thought, how nice it
would be to "not" need to fill it all up.

We Canadians and Americans have W-A-Y too much STUFF.... :oops:

No wonder we all usually have debt. :roll:

Storage lockers are OK for

their purpose, but to use them as a place to just ditch more "stuff" is not

good, we had to rent storage lockers for our stuff when we were in the 5th

wheel trailer, thankfully now only one left. That is hubby's garage tools,

because he really has no place for that, some is expensive, so need it

under lock and key.

Our Grandson's friend is here, and I asked him if he needs anything for a

kitchen. He said and his room mate could use a toaster, guess who now has a toaster, lol. We had 4 toasters???? ( Grandson 19, lives with us)

Then he said he could use a few more coffee cups, I told him they will be coming up!!!

Just have to find them "all" the others are too small, according to hubby. :wink:

We bought a really nice set last year and the others now are goinging to be outta here.

But after watching the very first clearing clutter show, where the fellow took everything out on the lawn, had them sort, keep toss stuff, then have a garage sale was the best I thought.

We have had many garage sales over the yrs. and once you get it outside, after a long day, the last thing you want to do is bring it back in. After watching that show, I understood WHY he did that now.

It's shocking to see everything spread out on a lawn. Un-real...

I do appreciatte your telling me the names of the books, but if I can't get

them at the library, then won't be reading them. :wink:

My aunt that had the 3 houses full top to bottom also had 8 storage lockers rented, totally full.

They would go to auctions and outbid people just
because, they didn't need it, but didn't want anybody else to have them either. It really was a sickness.

Scares the heck out of me, right about now. This is not good! :shock:

Mon Dec 10, 2012 10:29 pm

The sad part is all that we had to buy all that crap!

Tue Dec 11, 2012 3:30 am

Wow... lots of really sad stories. It is a sickness. In fact in the new edition of the Diagnostic Manual coming out for therapists, there will be a new diagnosis for hoarding. GM the aunt with the three houses and 8 storage lockers is a classic case. If there were any rationality to it, at some point they would realize that this is costing them so much money and ruining lives. As tom says all that stuff was purchased, in her case the houses and the rentals as well as all the stuff to fill them. That's a fortune that could have been put to a lot better use. And houses that aren't lived in and the stuff that's in them not used all tend to deteriorate over time as well as attract rodents, insects, etc.

It is a sickness that has features of obsessive compulsive and features of addiction (why it needs its own diagnosis). In my experience, like other addictions, it is progressive. That is if left untreated, without some kind of intervention, it only gets worse, never better. Though they make a million good resolutions, the situation gets worse and worse.

You can't make a person change any more than you can make them stop drinking. But you can keep talking to them about the way their problem impacts you, the more money the family would have, the more use of the rooms in the house, what it is like living in the mess. You can encourage them to seek help. And set some firm clear limits about the space you need for yourself. If the partner is ready and willing to work on it, you can suggest the two of you work together on clutter busting a little bit at a time. If you do a little bit each day, progress will get made.

This has links to a lot of good tips:

http://www.getorganizedwizard.com/blog/ ... rder-help/

There's tons of great decluttering info out there these days, you just have to be willing to use it.

Tue Dec 11, 2012 8:54 am

Thanks for the link rainbow, I did some reading and bookmarked it. I will be reading more of it.

Tue Dec 11, 2012 9:46 am

tomf.....So will I. Also thanks from me rainbowgardener.

Unfortunately I was doing so well until we moved to Alberta 5 yrs ago. We bought a farm in a hurry ( big mistake) hated it out there, was really far from anything. So sold and moved into a small town, closer to olds.

We started a vehicle heated storage business, but costs went way up, and people didn't want to pay more for the extra heat costs etc. so ended up selling "again" Stayed in both places 2 yrs. Lost money on both.

But in each place, there was no place for hubby and I to unpack our inside stuff. 1st place, we had brought our daughter and her two boys with us.
We stayed in the basement, as her one son has disabilties, and couldn't do stairs well. So we set up a sort of kitchen, with a two burner hotplate to cook on.

Next place was a commercial building, we lived in the front offices, but only gained a fridge and a sink, "still" no stove. So still didn't un-pack the things we brought out with us, not only that but the items we purchased to use on the farm, was packed and got mixed in with a bunch of stuff, so ended up buying more... :roll:

Then when we moved into the 5th wheel trailer, bought more stuff to cook with, but it wasn't set up for as long a time as we were in it, to cook much.

In the commercial building, we "did" get rid of a huge amount of things, because we had the room to spread out and sort through. We got rid of almost all our farm stuff, but I'm still finding smaller things, which I keep putting up for sale, and getting rid of as I can. But the "WORST" was sorting through not only our items in that commercial building, but our daughters things as well.

Then she decided she hated Alberta and moved back to B.C. with her one son ( with the disabilities) the other one is living with us. He didn't want to go back. Soooo here we are!

Now going through about 4 sets of kitchen items, and yes, that article is right, you DO lose things, and end up with multiples of a lot of things. :shock:

So now we finally hit D day (dump day) :lol:

It's not good. But I'm at least finally getting a chance to go through it and donate a huge amount of it, to people that "really" need it.

rainbowgardener, you hit the nail on the head about my aunt, but she wouldn't listen to "anybody" ever...

So to even "think" of getting in even a quarter of that type of mess scares the heck out of me.

tomf....Your'e right, we actually buy this stuff with hard earned money,

Scary isn't it?????..........

The "Only" thing I wish, is that I has someone here to help me go through this, have a good laugh over things and keep going..one tote at a time. I did this sort of things many times with others, but now when I need help, no one is here.

So hopefully my friends here won't get fed up of me. :oops:

Tue Dec 11, 2012 10:10 am

I admit to clutter - not hoarding like on that TV show but even so drawers, closets, cabinets are all over full of junk. Funny how a thread changes - mayby junk is a big reason for winter blues. I just packed 4 boxes in my car and I am on my way to a locally run non-profit thrift store to donate. They support local orananizations and I have looked into their business model and find very low overhead - unlike the big name thrift stores. So 4 boxes of depression out of the door. Plus a couple f bags of Georges "fat man clothes". He has lost 100 lbs so these huge bulky clothes are out of the door. Feels good.

Later

Tue Dec 11, 2012 10:17 am

ElizabethB......Congratulations..... :clap:

Tell hubby congrats too.

Doesn't it make you feel good.

Would you believe I found another toaster! This one got thrown out!!!
Hubby has celiacs, so have to have seperate toasters,but.... :roll: