What I learned!

[tomf]

Do not walk across the lawn at night or you will find what the deer left for you and step in it.

[Charlie MV]

Do not go down into the engine room of your boat to fix a gushing water pipe, have your elastic britches and drawers catch on the fuel filter bracket and slide all the way down to your ankles.

Especially don't do this when your wife is near a camera.

Do avoid Thanksgiving with the family when she shows the pictures.

[ElizabethB]

Thanks to all for a good laugh. Last March I was getting my rental house ready for sale. Locked my keys in the trunk. Called my husband (thank God he was in town) to bring my spare key. He shows up. I am sitting in the car waiting for him. He walks up and says "Baby - you are in you car - you have a button to open your trunk" OMG

Felt sooo stupid.

[DoubleDogFarm]

Do not go down into the engine room of your boat to fix a gushing water pipe, have your elastic britches and drawers catch on the fuel filter bracket and slide all the way down to your ankles.

Especially don't do this when your wife is near a camera.

Do avoid Thanksgiving with the family when she shows the pictures.

[img]https://i67.photobucket.com/albums/h300/eric_wa/Tomf.jpg[/img]

Eric

[Charlie MV]

Just for you Elizabeth. Needs sound.

https://www.freetheflash.com/audio/blonde-star.php

[Charlie MV]

Do not go down into the engine room of your boat to fix a gushing water pipe, have your elastic britches and drawers catch on the fuel filter bracket and slide all the way down to your ankles.

Especially don't do this when your wife is near a camera.

Do avoid Thanksgiving with the family when she shows the pictures.

[img]https://i67.photobucket.com/albums/h300/eric_wa/Tomf.jpg[/img]

Eric

Pretty much sums up my reaction on Thanksgiving when the picture flashed up on the new 60" TV.

[lorax]

Don't surprise the Huanchaka (a sort of possum-like beastie) when he's enjoying a late-night sandwich in your compost pile. Since you weren't expecting him, nor he you, he'll run towards you and you're very likely to run into the thorn tree that shades the pile and wake up all the chooks with your resultant shrieking.

Yeah, later that same night, I also learned that it's a bad idea to wander through the banana grove in the dark. Tarantulas are likely to drop on you. Really big, hairy, freaky tarantulas.

[Charlie MV]

Yeah Lorax but were you wearing pants?

[ElizabethB]

Thanks Charlie - good laugh - but I am not a Blonde! Red head thanks to my hair dresser.

Duhh - I must have blonde roots.

[ElizabethB]

How about the woman who calls Pop-A-Lock in a panic. "Please send someone right away. My keys are locked in my car and it is starting to rain and my windows are down"

[Charlie MV]

Thanks Charlie - good laugh - but I am not a Blonde! Red head thanks to my hair dresser.

Duhh - I must have blonde roots.

I wasn't making a blond joke about you. I'm glad you saw the humor. That clip is about ten years old. Makes me laugh every time. Just don't get caught with your pants down like me.

[DoubleDogFarm]

Dear Diary,

Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with the expensive double-pane energy-efficient kind. Then this week I got a call from the contractor who installed them. He was complaining that the work had been completed a whole year ago and I still had not paid for them. Now just because I'm a blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid. So, I told him just what his fast-talking sales guy had told me last year... Namely, that in ONE YEAR these windows would pay for themselves! Helllllooooo??? It's been a year!

There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally just hung up. He did not call back. Boy, I bet he felt dumb!!

Cristina Michta

Eric

[ElizabethB]

It is 4:45 am. I could not sleep so checked the forum. You make me laugh Eric. BTW - I am not at all offended by blonde jokes. Like I said there are times when I am sure I have blonde roots. Although I am an intellegent, educated woman there are times when I do REALLY dumb things.

[tomf]

Elizabeth we all do dumb things, the difference is smart people learn from them and dumb people keep doing the same dumb things over and over again.

[lorax]

Yeah Lorax but were you wearing pants?

Yes, (shorts) but I wasn't wearing shoes. Which was unfortunate, because thorn trees drop their thorns. I wasn't wearing a hat either, because it was dark out and I didn't see any reason for it. Which means I had tarantulas caught in my hair when I came running, bleeding, back into the house.

I though my mom was going to fall off her chair laughing.

[ElizabethB]

Right on - I have not locked my keys in the trunk with the car opened since. Learned something.

[Charlie MV]

Lorax, your mom and my wife seem to have some common traits.

[ElizabethB]

Lorax - thanks for the BIG laugh. I have this visual image in my mind. OMG! TOO funny!

[lorax]

The sad thing is, I am a blonde, and that's unfortunately not the last time I've had tarantulas on my head. And at the time I had quite long hair. Those poor spiders must have been frightened out of their wits waiting for us to untangle them.

I should mention that while I'm totally fine with spiders of any size when I can see and anticipate them, I'm not at all cool about them dropping in unexpectedly.

[rainbowgardener]

I should mention that while I'm totally fine with spiders of any size when I can see and anticipate them, I'm not at all cool about them dropping in unexpectedly.

Oh G-- no! When I was young I was quite arachnophobic (and also pretty insect-ophobic). I have pretty well worked myself out of all that and can admire bugs in the garden with the best of them. But tarantulas (PLURAL!) falling down on you from above and getting tangled in your hair! THAT is the stuff of nightmares. It makes me all shivery just to type that!

[tomf]

My wife is an arachnophobic, her brother used to put spiders on her. She will not let me put on scary spider movies.

[ElizabethB]

Back to Tom's thread - wish I had to worry about deer droppings. I live "in town" in an older subdivision (late 70s early 80s) with large 1/3 acre lots. My problem is my inconsiderate neighbors with their labs and pit bulls that they do not controll. I find "gifts" in my yard and when I sit on my back patio - which is where I practically live - I have to listen to their insane barking. I have have done the whole deal - called the police called animal control. So have the neighbors on both sides of me, on both sides of the ofending neighbor and neighbors across the street from him. I FINALLY got date/time stamped pictures of the dogs in my yard growling at me and also picks of them doing their business in my yard. The neighbor was cited and fined. IDK what he did with the beast - I think he has property in the country and moved them there but now I can sit outside with out being threatened. Wish I only had to worry about stepping in deer poop.

[tomf]

You should see what the bears leave!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ElizabethB]

Wish I could!

The older I get the more I yearn for country living. The Vermillion River (Bayou) runs through some of the most populated areas of the city including a couple of very high end gated communities. Once or twice a year Louisiana Brown bears are spotted in these exclusive subdivisions. They folow the river. Now these folks have never been hunting or fishing unless it was a charter. They have never run or played in the woods. It is comical the way they freak out over having bears traipse through their very expensivly landscaped yards =- some of which I have designed. I sit back, watch the news and laugh. Mother Nature has her way.

[tomf]

Elizabeth do you have pictures of some of your work? Or a link a lot of us like looking at this sort of thing, we may take and use some of your ideas although.

[LA47]

I second Tom's request.