User avatar
Kisal
Mod Emeritus
Posts: 7646
Joined: Tue Jun 24, 2008 1:04 am
Location: Oregon

Awww! I can't watch it, 'cause I don't belong to facebook. :(

User avatar
rainbowgardener
Super Green Thumb
Posts: 25279
Joined: Sun Feb 15, 2009 6:04 pm
Location: TN/GA 7b

I wasn't sure if that would work or not... Sometimes people post links to YouTube on FaceBook, in that case I would have been able to give the YouTube link. This one was posted directly on FB, so I don't know any other way to access it. Sorry...

You could always join FB.. :) 8)

cynthia_h
Super Green Thumb
Posts: 7500
Joined: Tue May 06, 2008 7:02 pm
Location: El Cerrito, CA

rainbowgardener wrote:
You could always join FB.. :) 8)
Also known as "going over to the Dark Side." Resist! Use The Force! LUUUUUKE! NOOOOO! :lol:

Cynthia

User avatar
tomf
Super Green Thumb
Posts: 3233
Joined: Mon May 18, 2009 8:15 am
Location: Oregon

Facebook has it's uses, it is a good way to connect to people with quick messages. I have also been found and found lost friends on it. Now some people get carried away with it and post lame stuff like " going shopping today" but it is not as bad as Twitter. There are a lot of what I feel are dumb games people play on Facebook like "Animal Farm" and "Mafia Wars".

But then it may take time away from being able to read and post here. :wink:

tedln
Super Green Thumb
Posts: 2179
Joined: Thu Jun 25, 2009 6:06 pm
Location: North Texas

My wife is on Facebook. She uses it to keep up with friends and family. For me it has about as useless as a cellphone.

:D

Ted

User avatar
Kisal
Mod Emeritus
Posts: 7646
Joined: Tue Jun 24, 2008 1:04 am
Location: Oregon

I've kept in touch with all my old friends by use of the telephone and e-mail, and yes, even snail-mail. I've never been able to figure out what I would do on Facebook. I'm not interested in posting pictures. I asked a friend of mine who lives in Chicago what she does on Facebook, and she told me she hardly ever goes there anymore. To me, the whole thing seems like a lot of hoopla about nothing.

As for my iPhone, now that's the best invention ever! :D I don't use it as a phone all that often, but I use it for all kinds of other things. It keeps my grocery list for me; I have Kindle on it, so I always have a book to read while waiting somewhere; it keeps my calendar for me; I have all my emergency medical information on it; and on, and on. I have 4 pages of apps, and it has become my auxiliary brain! It's just an old 3G that my son gave me when he got his 3GS, but IMO, it's wonderful! I'm lusting after his 3GS now that he has his new 4G. :lol:

User avatar
applestar
Mod
Posts: 30514
Joined: Thu May 01, 2008 7:21 pm
Location: Zone 6, NJ (3/M)4/E ~ 10/M(11/B)

If it's Farm Story, you're talking about, my 8 and 11 yr olds love that game which has been ported as an iPad app. They're allowed to play that as well as City Story, Tap Fish and Tap Birds, etc. as much as they want as long as they don't try to "purchase" any bucks and only accumulate currency and points by PLAYING the games and as long they they don't do any of the networking stuff except to go "clean" and "water" etc. the "neighbors'" environments.

If the "neighbors'" elaborate environments belong to other real players, they must be actually paying money to buy the extras... :|

tedln
Super Green Thumb
Posts: 2179
Joined: Thu Jun 25, 2009 6:06 pm
Location: North Texas

Kisal,

You sound like my wife. She has the droid phone and keeps all of her information on it. We just returned from our required trip to Walmart. She has her grocery list on the droid. We were traveling earlier this week and I was looking for a highway intersection where I needed to turn. She pulled up her droid GPS and it showed where we were plus the intersection where I needed to turn. She entertains herself playing word games like scrabble with people all over the world on her droid. I still don't even like to turn my cell phone on. I did use it at Walmart when I finished looking at everything in the gardening area to call her and ask which isle she was on. It beats walking the entire store looking for her. She has the ring tone that says "hello,,,,,,,HELLO,,,,HELLO,,,,,,, HEEELLLLLOOOOOOOO I can hear her phone all over the store.

User avatar
tomf
Super Green Thumb
Posts: 3233
Joined: Mon May 18, 2009 8:15 am
Location: Oregon

Joe and Fred wanted to go ice fishing so they went to a lake and realized they needed some thing to cut into the ice. Fred went to a house near by and asked if he could borrow some thing to cut into the ice. The farmer let him use an ax. Later when it was dark Fred brought the ax back and the farmer asked him why it took so long. Fred told the farmer that it took all day just to cut a hole big enough to fit the boat into.

Having learned their lesson Joe and Fred went looking for some ice close to home and did not bring the boat this time. Joe started to cut a hole in the ice when he heard from above “ stop cutting a hole in the iceâ€

tedln
Super Green Thumb
Posts: 2179
Joined: Thu Jun 25, 2009 6:06 pm
Location: North Texas

A lawyer and a senior citizen are sitting next to each other on a long flight.

The lawyer is thinking that seniors are so dumb that he could get one over on them easy.

So the lawyer asks if the senior would like to play a fun game.

The senior is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks.

The lawyer persists, saying that the game is a lot of fun. I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5. Then you ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500, he says.

This catches the senior's attention and, to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.

The lawyer asks the first question. 'What's the distance from the Earth to the Moon?'

The senior doesn't say a word, but reaches into his pocket, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.

Now it's the senior's turn. He asks the lawyer, 'What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?'

The lawyer uses his laptop and searches all references he can find on the 'net.

He sends e-mails to all the smart friends he knows--all to no avail.. After an hour of searching, he finally gives up.

He wakes the senior and hands him $500. The senior pockets the $500 and goes right back to sleep.

The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes the senior up and asks, 'Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?'

The senior reaches into his pocket, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.

Ted

tedln
Super Green Thumb
Posts: 2179
Joined: Thu Jun 25, 2009 6:06 pm
Location: North Texas

The economy is so bad that,

I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico .

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck...

Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal.
Oh Great! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated
by the people who made $1.5 trillion disappear!

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.

A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.

My ATM gave me an IOU!

Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

Ted

shadowsmom
Senior Member
Posts: 212
Joined: Fri Apr 30, 2010 3:40 pm
Location: NJ

Here is the squirrel video on youtube for those of you not on FB!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWU0bfo-bSY

I am on FB because my job position requires it, not because I want to be. I don't blame any of you who don't want an account.

tedln
Super Green Thumb
Posts: 2179
Joined: Thu Jun 25, 2009 6:06 pm
Location: North Texas

I'm wondering why clickable links like the one above don't work anymore. I can cut and paste the link, and it works fine. Is it working for other folks?

Ted

shadowsmom
Senior Member
Posts: 212
Joined: Fri Apr 30, 2010 3:40 pm
Location: NJ

You're welcome Marlingardener!

tedln, it works for me....maybe your computer is not set to open up another window when one is already open? Try right clicking on it and open in new tab.
Last edited by shadowsmom on Wed Sep 08, 2010 4:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
gixxerific
Super Green Thumb
Posts: 5889
Joined: Fri Jun 26, 2009 5:42 pm
Location: Wentzville, MO (Just West oF St. Louis) Zone 5B

It's working for me Ted.

Oh, and I about fell out of my chair when the squirrel stole the candy bar, that's too funny. :lol:

cynthia_h
Super Green Thumb
Posts: 7500
Joined: Tue May 06, 2008 7:02 pm
Location: El Cerrito, CA

I can only hope the candy glued the little varmint's teeth together. Unnh! Fluffy-tailed rats! The audio didn't work for me; did the woman in the first segment *train* the squirrel???

Jeez.

Cynthia

User avatar
rainbowgardener
Super Green Thumb
Posts: 25279
Joined: Sun Feb 15, 2009 6:04 pm
Location: TN/GA 7b

Link worked for me, with audio, the music is a nice addition. Thanks for posting the link.

The FB one talks about how she "trained" the squirrel by building the course in stages. After the squirrel learned how to do one section, they would add the next so the course kept getting longer and longer.

How can you not love them? The squirrels and raccoons are going to rule the world after humans blow themselves up! They are so smart! I enjoy watching the squirrels, because they seem to spend a lot of their day just playing, chasing each other around the trees, doing daredevil stunts for the pure joy of it!

tedln
Super Green Thumb
Posts: 2179
Joined: Thu Jun 25, 2009 6:06 pm
Location: North Texas

RBG,

I love squirrels also...................They are especially good with potatoes and a salad on the side. :D

Ted

User avatar
tomf
Super Green Thumb
Posts: 3233
Joined: Mon May 18, 2009 8:15 am
Location: Oregon

There I was is sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.

"Well, whatcha gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears.

"Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can`t stand to see a man crying."

"This is the worst day of my life," I say. "I'm a complete failure.

I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me.
When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance.
I left my wallet in the cab I took home.
I found my old lady in bed with the gardener and then my dog bit me."

"So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all, I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve; then you show up and drink the whole thing!

Charlie MV
Greener Thumb
Posts: 1544
Joined: Thu May 08, 2008 11:48 pm

shadowsmom wrote:Here is the squirrel video on youtube for those of you not on FB!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWU0bfo-bSY

I am on FB because my job position requires it, not because I want to be. I don't blame any of you who don't want an account.

Great, Six Flags for tree rats and a mechanical street vendor to feed them. I'll never eat out of a machine again. Did you not have a picture of one filching a beer to go with it?

shadowsmom
Senior Member
Posts: 212
Joined: Fri Apr 30, 2010 3:40 pm
Location: NJ

You've been warned....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R1zpW1JKbaY&feature=related

tedln
Super Green Thumb
Posts: 2179
Joined: Thu Jun 25, 2009 6:06 pm
Location: North Texas

A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take
her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants. The dispatcher
tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine, the mother
says, 'I just gave him some ant killer.....Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency!'

Ted

DoubleDogFarm
Super Green Thumb
Posts: 6113
Joined: Sun Mar 28, 2010 11:43 pm

Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac who stays up all night wondering if there really is a Dog?

User avatar
tomf
Super Green Thumb
Posts: 3233
Joined: Mon May 18, 2009 8:15 am
Location: Oregon

For all you hunters.

Two hunters were out on a hunting trip when one accidently got shot. His buddy called 911 and told the operator what had happened. The 911 operator asked how the guy who got shot was doing. The man who called 911 said no need to hurry as he is dead. The operator asked how he knew the man was dead. The caller said he looks dead. So the operator told him he needed to be sure his buddy was dead. Then she heard a loud BANG!

tedln
Super Green Thumb
Posts: 2179
Joined: Thu Jun 25, 2009 6:06 pm
Location: North Texas

Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. 'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the teenager at the counter. 'You don't?' I replied.'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply. 'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?' 'That's right.' So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets
(Obviously will graduate next year?)


A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM 'thingy.'
(keep shuddering!!)

User avatar
webmaster
Site Admin
Posts: 9476
Joined: Sun Feb 08, 2004 12:59 pm
Location: Amherst, MA USDA Zone 5a

Please let's resist the temptation to take this off color. :oops:

Thanks.

tedln
Super Green Thumb
Posts: 2179
Joined: Thu Jun 25, 2009 6:06 pm
Location: North Texas

Shadowsmom,

I am still laughing!

Ted

Charlie MV
Greener Thumb
Posts: 1544
Joined: Thu May 08, 2008 11:48 pm

Which one Roger, I'm still laughing too.

Tom had me at "bang"

cynthia_h
Super Green Thumb
Posts: 7500
Joined: Tue May 06, 2008 7:02 pm
Location: El Cerrito, CA

tedln wrote:A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM 'thingy.'
(keep shuddering!!)
OK, tedln, just how OLD is this joke you've recycled? :wink: Show me a computer that still has a floppy drive and I'll show you a computer whose operating system hasn't been supported by either Microsoft or Apple for several YEARS. I'm not sure whether UNIX or LINUX understand "floppy," either....

Too bad, too. I kind of understood what was happening with a floppy. Now I get lost, technologically, much faster....

Cynthia

tedln
Super Green Thumb
Posts: 2179
Joined: Thu Jun 25, 2009 6:06 pm
Location: North Texas

cynthia_h wrote:
tedln wrote:A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM 'thingy.'
(keep shuddering!!)
OK, tedln, just how OLD is this joke you've recycled? :wink: Show me a computer that still has a floppy drive and I'll show you a computer whose operating system hasn't been supported by either Microsoft or Apple for several YEARS. I'm not sure whether UNIX or LINUX understand "floppy," either....

Too bad, too. I kind of understood what was happening with a floppy. Now I get lost, technologically, much faster....

Cynthia
The joke must be old, but would you expect an old man like me to have new jokes. Shouldn't jokes be age appropriate?

I still have a computer with a 3 1/2" floppy drive. I have kept it stored in a closet for three or four years as a backup.

I will look around for some newer jokes though. I don't want to become dated just because my jokes are old. :D

Ted

User avatar
tomf
Super Green Thumb
Posts: 3233
Joined: Mon May 18, 2009 8:15 am
Location: Oregon

A city boy asked the farmer if he could get some butter from the field, farmer says you get butter from cows. City boy says but I see butter cups down there. Oh and some milkweed also.

Now that is a bad joke!!!


:oops:

tedln
Super Green Thumb
Posts: 2179
Joined: Thu Jun 25, 2009 6:06 pm
Location: North Texas

I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. 'Do you
need some help?' I asked. She replied, 'I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?' 'Hmmm, I don't know. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked.
'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered, handing it and the car keys
to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, 'Why
don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk....' (PLEASE just lay down before you hurt yourself)

Ted

tedln
Super Green Thumb
Posts: 2179
Joined: Thu Jun 25, 2009 6:06 pm
Location: North Texas

Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?' 'Just use paper from the photocopier', the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper,
put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five 'blank' copies. (Brunette, by the way!!)

Ted

User avatar
Kisal
Mod Emeritus
Posts: 7646
Joined: Tue Jun 24, 2008 1:04 am
Location: Oregon

Last night, my kids and I were sitting in the living room and I said to them, "I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens to me, just pull the plug." They got up, unplugged my computer and threw out my wine.

:roll: :hide:

Charlie MV
Greener Thumb
Posts: 1544
Joined: Thu May 08, 2008 11:48 pm

cynthia_h, you should look closely at the picture of mine and Ted's family in his avatar. I don't know about cousin Ted but my Acme computer is steam driven.

tedln
Super Green Thumb
Posts: 2179
Joined: Thu Jun 25, 2009 6:06 pm
Location: North Texas

I don't know if military humor is okay, but hey; everyone needs a break from the routine.

[img]https://i291.photobucket.com/albums/ll308/tedln/Military%20Humor/cid_X_MA25_1219500954aol.jpg[/img]
[img]https://i291.photobucket.com/albums/ll308/tedln/Military%20Humor/cid_X_MA14_1219500954aol.jpg[/img]
[img]https://i291.photobucket.com/albums/ll308/tedln/Military%20Humor/cid_X_MA13_1219500954aol.jpg[/img]
[img]https://i291.photobucket.com/albums/ll308/tedln/Military%20Humor/cid_X_MA12_1219500954aol.jpg[/img]
[img]https://i291.photobucket.com/albums/ll308/tedln/Military%20Humor/cid_X_MA10_1219500954aol.jpg[/img]
[img]https://i291.photobucket.com/albums/ll308/tedln/Military%20Humor/cid_X_MA9_1219500954aol.jpg[/img]
[img]https://i291.photobucket.com/albums/ll308/tedln/Military%20Humor/cid_X_MA6_1219500954aol.jpg[/img]
[img]https://i291.photobucket.com/albums/ll308/tedln/Military%20Humor/cid_X_MA2_1219500954aol.jpg[/img]

Ted

User avatar
rainbowgardener
Super Green Thumb
Posts: 25279
Joined: Sun Feb 15, 2009 6:04 pm
Location: TN/GA 7b

Since you guys have been posting dumb women stories, here's one back. True story courtesy of news of the weird:

Veteran criminal Nathan Pugh, 49, walked in to a Wells Fargo bank in Dallas on July 26 and presented his holdup note to a teller (claiming to have a "bom"). The teller told Pugh that she could not release large amounts of money without proper ID and convinced Pugh to turn over both a Texas state ID card and his Wells Fargo debit card, both in his own name. Police arrived just as Pugh was leaving and after an attempt to grab a hostage, he was arrested. (He even failed with the hostage -- a woman carrying a child -- who still managed to take Pugh to the floor.) [Dallas Morning News, 8-5-10]

https://www.newsoftheweird.com/archive/index.html

Charlie MV
Greener Thumb
Posts: 1544
Joined: Thu May 08, 2008 11:48 pm

rainbowgardener wrote:Since you guys have been posting dumb women stories, here's one back. True story courtesy of news of the weird:

Veteran criminal Nathan Pugh, 49, walked in to a Wells Fargo bank in Dallas on July 26 and presented his holdup note to a teller (claiming to have a "bom"). The teller told Pugh that she could not release large amounts of money without proper ID and convinced Pugh to turn over both a Texas state ID card and his Wells Fargo debit card, both in his own name. Police arrived just as Pugh was leaving and after an attempt to grab a hostage, he was arrested. (He even failed with the hostage -- a woman carrying a child -- who still managed to take Pugh to the floor.) [Dallas Morning News, 8-5-10]

https://www.newsoftheweird.com/archive/index.html

Gee Whizz Ted, our cousins are everywhere. rainbowgardener, did you get a close up picture of this guys teeth?

User avatar
gixxerific
Super Green Thumb
Posts: 5889
Joined: Fri Jun 26, 2009 5:42 pm
Location: Wentzville, MO (Just West oF St. Louis) Zone 5B

That's good stuff RBG we had yet another bank robbery a few day's ago where and older man (50 ' 60's) chased a robber down the street and held the younger man (37) to the ground till police arrived. :lol:

This guy is hardcore all the way kinda funny video, you just can't write this kind of stuff
https://www.fox2now.com/news/ktvi-bank-hero-robbery-stopped-091610,0,1737437.story

User avatar
rainbowgardener
Super Green Thumb
Posts: 25279
Joined: Sun Feb 15, 2009 6:04 pm
Location: TN/GA 7b

You like that, here's a similar one, maybe even better:

Justin Johnson, 21, was arrested in Bloomfield, Ind., in July after failing to get a Bloomfield State Bank branch to cash his bogus check for $1 million, which he presented to a teller in the bank's drive-through window. Optimistic, he had handed over his driver's license for ID along with the check. [Greene County Daily World (Linton, Ind.), 7-27-10]

https://www.newsoftheweird.com/archive/nw100815.html

So this guy thinks he's just going to write a check for a million dollars and no one will think anything of it and hand it over?

Least competent criminals is a recurring theme over at news of the weird.



Return to “Non-Gardening Related Hoo-ha and Foo”