Denominational lightbulb jokes:
These are SO funny... I hope they don't offend anyone, but I have shared them with all my friends who also seem to love them, no matter what belief they hold to. I am a Baptist, and I find the Baptist ones hysterical because they are so true.
How many Charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten. One to change the bulb and nine to bind the spirit of darkness in the room.
How many Pentecostals does it take to change a light bulb?
14. One to prophesy as to who has the power of the Holy Ghost to change the bulb, one to screw in the bulb, one to lay hands on the changer so he will receive the fullest power, 10 to shout hallelujah when the light comes on, and one to lead the rest in a rousing chorus of "I've Been Changed."
How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?
One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
How many liberal Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
At least ten, as they need to hold a debate on whether or not the light bulb exists. Even if they can agree upon the existence of the light bulb, they still may not change it to keep from alienating those who might use other forms of light.
How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb?
None, since ours is the One True Light, which will never burn out. If your denomination is having problems with lighting, perhaps you should reflect upon the unfortunate divisions existing in the Church today. Plus we always use candles.
How many Episcopalians does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten. One to call the electrician, and nine to say how much they liked the old one better.
How many Mormons does it take to change a light bulb?
Five. One man to change the bulb & four wives to tell him how to do it.
How many Amish does it take to change a light bulb? What's a light bulb?
How many Baptists does it take to change a light bulb?
At least 45. Three committees to explore, approve, and recommend the change at business meeting, one to second the motion, a church wide vote, one to change the bulb, and one to bring the potato salad.
How many Southern Baptists does it take to change a light bulb?
Approximately 16,000,000. Unfortunately, since they are deeply divided over whether or not light is a fundamental need, no official position will be taken until convention, when the proposed light bulb additions to the Baptist Faith and Message come before a vote. In the mean time, each autonomous Church body is encouraged to formulate its own position on lighting (see above for usual procedure) and choose its convention delegates accordingly.
How many Lutherans does it take to change a light bulb?
We read that we are to so fear and love God that we cannot by our own effort or understanding comprehend the replacement of an electromagnetic photon source. It is, rather by faith, NOT by our efforts (effected toward the failed worldly incandescence), that we truly see, and that our own works (feeble attempts at self change to obtain light) cannot fully justify us in the presence of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, who is the only light of the world. Of course, it is still dark.
How many United Methodists does it take to change a light bulb?
We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey, you have found that a light bulb works for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship to your light bulb and present it next month at our annual light bulb Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-lived, and tinted; all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence through Jesus Christ.
How many Non Denominational Christians does it take to change a lightbulb?
Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved --you can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Church wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish.
How many Megachurch members does it take to change a light bulb? Undetermined since no one seems to know who's in charge of that. The small group leader recommends directing this question to the Grounds and Maintenance Pastor, but no one seems absolutely sure who he is, either.
A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom says "Why not? I'm a Fungi!"
What happened when the dog went to the flea circus?
He stole the show!
What kind of dog sniffs out new flowers?
A bud hound.
What is the fruitiest lesson?
History, because it's full of dates!
What happened when the dog went to the flea circus?
He stole the show!
What kind of dog sniffs out new flowers?
A bud hound.
What is the fruitiest lesson?
History, because it's full of dates!
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Charlie MV
- Greener Thumb
- Posts: 1544
- Joined: Thu May 08, 2008 11:48 pm
There are blond jokes like
What's four blonds standing side by side?
Wind tunnel.
Then there are degrees of blonditude. For instance:
FIRST DEGREE
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up. The husband said, "Who was that?"
The wife said, "I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear."
SECOND DEGREE
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar."
The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!"
So the first blonde hands her the compact.
The second one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"
THIRD DEGREE
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and
as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!!"
The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"
FOURTH DEGREE
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals.
She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them."
A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?"
The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy: W."
FIFTH DEGREE
What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
Is it mine?"
SIXTH DEGREE
Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA freshman, sat in her US government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about. Bambi pondered the question then finally said, "That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware."
SEVENTH DEGREE
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.
The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash,
The blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands,
she moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do?
They send me a BLIND policeman."
Then there are dangerous blond jokes.
A blind man enters a Ladies Bar by mistake. He finds his way to a barstool and orders a drink. After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the bartender,
"Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,
"Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is just fair - giving that you are blind - that you should know Five things:
1 - The bartender is a blonde girl. 2 - The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3 - I'm a 6 feet tall, 160 LB. blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4 - The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional weightlifter.
5 - The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler.
Now think about it seriously, Mister.
Do you still wanna tell that joke?
The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and declares,
"Nah, Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
There are also blond guy jokes just to be fair.
3 guys working at a construction site - one is Mexican, second is French and the third is blonde.
Ond day during lunch at the top of a skyscraper the Mexican guy proclaims that if his wife makes him another burrito for lunch he is going to jump.
The French man then proclaims that if his wife makes him Escargot again he is going to jump
The Blonde then procleams that if his wife makes him another bologna sandwich he is going to jump as well.
The next day rolls around and it is time for lunch. The Mexican guy looks at his lunch sees a burrito and jumps to his death. The French man see Escargot and jumps to his death and the blonde sees a bologna sandwich and jumps to his death as well.
At the funeral all the wives were deeply saddened and with much regret the Mexican wife confesses that if she had known of her late husbands dislike of burritos she wouldn't put them in his lunch. The French mans wife said the same about the Escargot. The wife of the blonde looked confused and told the other two wifes that her husband made his own lunch
This one is an audible if the link is still good. Turn up sound
https://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7780916420567729697
What's four blonds standing side by side?
Wind tunnel.
Then there are degrees of blonditude. For instance:
FIRST DEGREE
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up. The husband said, "Who was that?"
The wife said, "I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear."
SECOND DEGREE
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar."
The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!"
So the first blonde hands her the compact.
The second one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"
THIRD DEGREE
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and
as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!!"
The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"
FOURTH DEGREE
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals.
She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them."
A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?"
The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy: W."
FIFTH DEGREE
What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
Is it mine?"
SIXTH DEGREE
Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA freshman, sat in her US government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about. Bambi pondered the question then finally said, "That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware."
SEVENTH DEGREE
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.
The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash,
The blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands,
she moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do?
They send me a BLIND policeman."
Then there are dangerous blond jokes.
A blind man enters a Ladies Bar by mistake. He finds his way to a barstool and orders a drink. After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the bartender,
"Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,
"Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is just fair - giving that you are blind - that you should know Five things:
1 - The bartender is a blonde girl. 2 - The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3 - I'm a 6 feet tall, 160 LB. blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4 - The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional weightlifter.
5 - The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler.
Now think about it seriously, Mister.
Do you still wanna tell that joke?
The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and declares,
"Nah, Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
There are also blond guy jokes just to be fair.
3 guys working at a construction site - one is Mexican, second is French and the third is blonde.
Ond day during lunch at the top of a skyscraper the Mexican guy proclaims that if his wife makes him another burrito for lunch he is going to jump.
The French man then proclaims that if his wife makes him Escargot again he is going to jump
The Blonde then procleams that if his wife makes him another bologna sandwich he is going to jump as well.
The next day rolls around and it is time for lunch. The Mexican guy looks at his lunch sees a burrito and jumps to his death. The French man see Escargot and jumps to his death and the blonde sees a bologna sandwich and jumps to his death as well.
At the funeral all the wives were deeply saddened and with much regret the Mexican wife confesses that if she had known of her late husbands dislike of burritos she wouldn't put them in his lunch. The French mans wife said the same about the Escargot. The wife of the blonde looked confused and told the other two wifes that her husband made his own lunch
This one is an audible if the link is still good. Turn up sound
https://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7780916420567729697
A man walks into a bar with his dog. The bartender tells him he can't bring the dog into the bar. The guy says, "But this is no ordinary dog! This dog can talk!"
So of course the bartender wants him to prove it, and the man says to his dog, "What is on top of a house?" and the dog says "Roof! Roof!"
The bartender rolls his eyes and threatens to throw the guy and his dog out of the bar, but the man asks for one more chance. He says to the dog, "What is the texture of a tree trunk?" And the dog says, "Ruff! Ruff!"
The bartender comes around the bar and starts to throw the guy out, but he begs for one more chance. He says to the dog, "Who was the best baseball player who ever lived?" The dogs answers "Ruth! Ruth!"
The man and his dog get thrown out of the bar. After they go about a block, the dog turns to the man and says, "Should I have said DiMaggio?"
So of course the bartender wants him to prove it, and the man says to his dog, "What is on top of a house?" and the dog says "Roof! Roof!"
The bartender rolls his eyes and threatens to throw the guy and his dog out of the bar, but the man asks for one more chance. He says to the dog, "What is the texture of a tree trunk?" And the dog says, "Ruff! Ruff!"
The bartender comes around the bar and starts to throw the guy out, but he begs for one more chance. He says to the dog, "Who was the best baseball player who ever lived?" The dogs answers "Ruth! Ruth!"
The man and his dog get thrown out of the bar. After they go about a block, the dog turns to the man and says, "Should I have said DiMaggio?"
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wingdesigner
- Super Green Thumb
- Posts: 2036
- Joined: Thu Mar 10, 2005 4:58 pm
- Location: Michigan--LP(troll)
Warning, this one may not be for everyone...
These are not for the faint of heart and may make you wince. But I'm particularly fond of the last one.
1.) Schizophrenia: Do You Hear What I Hear, the Voices, the Voices
2.) Amnesia: I Don't Remember If I'll Be Home for Christmas
3.) Narcissistic: Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me
4.) Manic: Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants and...
5.) Multiple Personality Disorder: We Three Kings Disoriented Are
6.) Paranoid: Santa Claus is Coming to Get Us
7.) Borderline Personality Disorder: You Better Watch Out, You Better not Shout, I'm Gonna Cry and I'm Not Tellin' You Why
8.) Full Personality Disorder: Thoughts of Roasting You on an Open Fire
9.) Obsessive Compulsive Disorder: Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
10.) Agoraphobia: I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day but Wouldn't Leave My House
11.) Senile Dementia: Walking in a Winter Wonderland Miles from My House in My Slippers and Robe
12.) Oppositional Defiant Disorder: I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus so I Burned Down the House
13.) Social Anxiety Disorder: Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas While I Sit Here and Hyperventilate
14.) Attention Deficit Disorder: We Wish You...Hey Look! It's Snowing!!
These are not for the faint of heart and may make you wince. But I'm particularly fond of the last one.
1.) Schizophrenia: Do You Hear What I Hear, the Voices, the Voices
2.) Amnesia: I Don't Remember If I'll Be Home for Christmas
3.) Narcissistic: Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me
4.) Manic: Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants and...
5.) Multiple Personality Disorder: We Three Kings Disoriented Are
6.) Paranoid: Santa Claus is Coming to Get Us
7.) Borderline Personality Disorder: You Better Watch Out, You Better not Shout, I'm Gonna Cry and I'm Not Tellin' You Why
8.) Full Personality Disorder: Thoughts of Roasting You on an Open Fire
9.) Obsessive Compulsive Disorder: Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
10.) Agoraphobia: I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day but Wouldn't Leave My House
11.) Senile Dementia: Walking in a Winter Wonderland Miles from My House in My Slippers and Robe
12.) Oppositional Defiant Disorder: I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus so I Burned Down the House
13.) Social Anxiety Disorder: Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas While I Sit Here and Hyperventilate
14.) Attention Deficit Disorder: We Wish You...Hey Look! It's Snowing!!
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wingdesigner
- Super Green Thumb
- Posts: 2036
- Joined: Thu Mar 10, 2005 4:58 pm
- Location: Michigan--LP(troll)
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wingdesigner
- Super Green Thumb
- Posts: 2036
- Joined: Thu Mar 10, 2005 4:58 pm
- Location: Michigan--LP(troll)
1.
If you eat a Christmas cookie fresh out of the oven, it has no calories because everyone knows that the first cookie is the test and thus calorie free.
2.
If you drink a diet pop after eating your second cookie, it also has no calories because the diet pop cancels out the cookie calories.
3.
If a friend comes over while you're making your Christmas cookies, and you need to sample them, you must sample with a friend. Because your friend's first cookie is calories free, (see rule #1), yours is also. It would be rude to let your friend sample alone and, being the friend that you are, that makes your cookie calorie free.
4.
Any cookie calories consumed while walking around will fall to your feet and eventually fall off as you move. This is due to gravity and the density of the caloric mass.
5.
Any calories consumed during the frosting of the Christmas cookies will be used up because it takes many calories to lick excess frosting from a knife without cutting your tongue.
6.
Cookies colored red or green have very few calories. Red ones have three and green ones have five - one calorie for each letter. Make more red ones!
7.
Cookies eaten while watching "Miracle on 34th Street" have no calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel.
8.
As always, cookie pieces contain no calories because the process of breaking causes calorie leakage.
9.
Any cookies consumed from someone else's plate have no calories since the calories rightfully belong to the other person and will cling to their plate. We all know how calories like to CLING!
10.
Any cookies consumed while feeling stressed have no calories because cookies used for medicinal purposes NEVER have calories. It's a rule!
So,
go out and enjoy those Christmas Cookies - we only get them this time of year!
If you eat a Christmas cookie fresh out of the oven, it has no calories because everyone knows that the first cookie is the test and thus calorie free.
2.
If you drink a diet pop after eating your second cookie, it also has no calories because the diet pop cancels out the cookie calories.
3.
If a friend comes over while you're making your Christmas cookies, and you need to sample them, you must sample with a friend. Because your friend's first cookie is calories free, (see rule #1), yours is also. It would be rude to let your friend sample alone and, being the friend that you are, that makes your cookie calorie free.
4.
Any cookie calories consumed while walking around will fall to your feet and eventually fall off as you move. This is due to gravity and the density of the caloric mass.
5.
Any calories consumed during the frosting of the Christmas cookies will be used up because it takes many calories to lick excess frosting from a knife without cutting your tongue.
6.
Cookies colored red or green have very few calories. Red ones have three and green ones have five - one calorie for each letter. Make more red ones!
7.
Cookies eaten while watching "Miracle on 34th Street" have no calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel.
8.
As always, cookie pieces contain no calories because the process of breaking causes calorie leakage.
9.
Any cookies consumed from someone else's plate have no calories since the calories rightfully belong to the other person and will cling to their plate. We all know how calories like to CLING!
10.
Any cookies consumed while feeling stressed have no calories because cookies used for medicinal purposes NEVER have calories. It's a rule!
So,
go out and enjoy those Christmas Cookies - we only get them this time of year!
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MysticGardener67
- Senior Member
- Posts: 143
- Joined: Fri Dec 18, 2009 10:31 am
- Location: Lexington KY
How can you tell that a Blonde did the landscaping?
The bushes are a different color than the rest of the yard.
The inadvertant innuendo that caused me to loose a groundskeeping job.
"nothing I enjoy more than a nicely trimmed bush" Only after I noticed the wide eyes and dropped jaws did I realize what I had said. In my defense, I HAD just finished shearing a sorely neglected 50 ft stretch of Euonymus Alata (Burning Bush) BY HAND! Property was too cheap to buy me a gas trimmer OR a commercial grade blower/vac
My wife was feeling rather amorous. She leaned in and whispered into my ear "Talk dirty to me." I whispered into her ear "Mulch Mulch Mulch."
the one rose cultivar whose name never ceases to raise the question "What where they thinking?" Golden Showers
Only in Gardening can a man complement a woman on the size of her melons and not get slapped.
Honest to gosh bumpersticker I saw a few years back "Gardeners have dirty minds"
The bushes are a different color than the rest of the yard.
The inadvertant innuendo that caused me to loose a groundskeeping job.
"nothing I enjoy more than a nicely trimmed bush" Only after I noticed the wide eyes and dropped jaws did I realize what I had said. In my defense, I HAD just finished shearing a sorely neglected 50 ft stretch of Euonymus Alata (Burning Bush) BY HAND! Property was too cheap to buy me a gas trimmer OR a commercial grade blower/vac
My wife was feeling rather amorous. She leaned in and whispered into my ear "Talk dirty to me." I whispered into her ear "Mulch Mulch Mulch."
the one rose cultivar whose name never ceases to raise the question "What where they thinking?" Golden Showers
Only in Gardening can a man complement a woman on the size of her melons and not get slapped.
Honest to gosh bumpersticker I saw a few years back "Gardeners have dirty minds"
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Charlie MV
- Greener Thumb
- Posts: 1544
- Joined: Thu May 08, 2008 11:48 pm
MysticGardener67, my hat's off to you. The rest of us put up merely generic jokes in the joke thread. You have put up jokes that are not just funny, but maintain a gardening theme. Nice work. I bow to a true master.
This is awful, I just realized that after 3 seasons of growing all of our own vegetables, I'm a garden nerd.
This is awful, I just realized that after 3 seasons of growing all of our own vegetables, I'm a garden nerd.
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MysticGardener67
- Senior Member
- Posts: 143
- Joined: Fri Dec 18, 2009 10:31 am
- Location: Lexington KY
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Charlie MV
- Greener Thumb
- Posts: 1544
- Joined: Thu May 08, 2008 11:48 pm
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wingdesigner
- Super Green Thumb
- Posts: 2036
- Joined: Thu Mar 10, 2005 4:58 pm
- Location: Michigan--LP(troll)
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MysticGardener67
- Senior Member
- Posts: 143
- Joined: Fri Dec 18, 2009 10:31 am
- Location: Lexington KY
A Newfie decides to travel across Canada to see the Pacific Ocean. When he gets to Nanaimo, he likes the place so much that he decides to stay. But first he must find a job. He walks into the MacMillan-Bloedel office and fills out an application as an 'experienced' logger. It's his lucky day. They just happen to be looking for someone. But first, the bush foreman takes him for a ride in the bush in the company pickup truck to see how much he knows.
The foreman stops the truck on the side of the road and points at it. "See that tree over there? I want you to tell me what species it is and how many board feet of lumber it contains.â€
The foreman stops the truck on the side of the road and points at it. "See that tree over there? I want you to tell me what species it is and how many board feet of lumber it contains.â€
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wingdesigner
- Super Green Thumb
- Posts: 2036
- Joined: Thu Mar 10, 2005 4:58 pm
- Location: Michigan--LP(troll)
Now it's my turn!
An englishman is reading the papers and his wife is concerned about her breast size, that it might not be as good and attractive and so on - so she suggests to the Hubby a breast implant.
But hubby is ahead of it all and thinks of a lady fifty years on with only skin surrounding a bad job - and so he says:
"Do you know, I was reading just here the other day of something that they termed "HOMEOPATHIC" that might work just as well.... All you must do is rub a small patch of toilet tissue between the breasts (so it read) and continue to do this three times or so a day - it is supposed to supply some sort of stimulation to them, which causes them to enlarge..."
"Did it really say so?"
"Oh yes indeed! I have great confidence in the idea."
And so she tried it for a solid month....
But in the end she confessed: "I have tried this stupid thing all of this time, and I can see NOTHING by way of improvement..."
He said: "I can't imagine why not - it did wonders for your BACKSIDE!!!"
*and then the fight started*
An englishman is reading the papers and his wife is concerned about her breast size, that it might not be as good and attractive and so on - so she suggests to the Hubby a breast implant.
But hubby is ahead of it all and thinks of a lady fifty years on with only skin surrounding a bad job - and so he says:
"Do you know, I was reading just here the other day of something that they termed "HOMEOPATHIC" that might work just as well.... All you must do is rub a small patch of toilet tissue between the breasts (so it read) and continue to do this three times or so a day - it is supposed to supply some sort of stimulation to them, which causes them to enlarge..."
"Did it really say so?"
"Oh yes indeed! I have great confidence in the idea."
And so she tried it for a solid month....
But in the end she confessed: "I have tried this stupid thing all of this time, and I can see NOTHING by way of improvement..."
He said: "I can't imagine why not - it did wonders for your BACKSIDE!!!"
*and then the fight started*
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LindsayArthurRTR
- Green Thumb
- Posts: 527
- Joined: Wed May 26, 2010 10:41 pm
- Location: South Carolina, Upstate
You are just fabulous!Ooohhh, groaners? I got 'em!! They're my faves!!!
Here is my contribution to the groaner list
I was at my dad's showing him pics of the garden. I showed him a pic of my silver queen and he said...(groan...) "WOW that's aMAIZing." To which I replied...(double groan) "Would you stop being so corny!"
OOOOoooowww ME!Hehehe, was a good time!