Installing a Husband

[wingdesigner]

For the female readers out there:

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate

DEAR DESPERATE,
First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package,
while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme. html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
If that application works as designed, Husband1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.
Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)
In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend:
Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck!
Yours truly,
Tech support

[applestar]

[cynthia_h]

...is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.

Amen, Sister.

Cynthia H.
USDA Zone 9, Sunset Zone 17

[wingdesigner]

CH--thanks, but, um, "sister" might not apply...

[cynthia_h]

If not, then you're a very unusual man, to post such an item!!!

Cynthia

[webmaster]

I will vouch for the tears module. Worked like a charm and I'll never go less than the extra mile in pulling out all the stops in making the biggest hoo-ha and fuss about wifey's birthday, including ballooning the walls, special dinners, special gifts etcetera. LOL

[wingdesigner]

Hmmm, no response to the 'puter joke, Webmaster? (Running & ducking now...)

[Quietly Awesome]

SO glad I stopped in today. Your killin me here! Gonna have to copy that one.

[wingdesigner]

(bowing) tank yew, tank yew, and good night!