Shrub
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Location: Netherlands

Spiders - How do you deal with fear of spiders?

Okay first I grew up in Australia, sometimes can feel like anything can kill you, specially the giant spiders that chase you through the house... So I have arachnophobia and I always have, ever since I was a little girl. I know most spiders are harmless and as long as they are not in certain areas I will let them be, or if I feel they need to go will have someone move them outside, I wont go out of my way to kill them. Daddy long legs are the only ones I will even tollerate in my bed room, long as they stick to their corners and don't come to close to the bed...
So as I get older I am more at peace with the spiders, as long as they don't come near me, or don't try and live in my house and living areas... Any other bugs, insects, arachnids etc I am fine with! Even had a centipede as a pet once, his name was Skittles, until I released him back into the garden knowing thats where he belonged :)

I think I got a little off track, so I am new to gardening I don't mind getting my hands dirty and every time I find a worm I give it a name and relocate him temporarily so don't accidently kill/squash if I am working in a certain area. But anyways gloves help when I come across spiders, I allow them to be, live among the plants as that is where their home is, and they can help keep other bugs in check and stuff. But when I come across them its the fight or flight instinct, I always have the flight instint when it comes to spiders, the bigger the spider the worse it is, they make me jump or I may freeze for a moment in fear.

Wondering if anyone else have something similar and if so how do you deal with it? Coming across these arachnids? I don't want my weeds getting out of control around my flowers but when I see spiders I generally try and advoid that area but then I get a lil annoyed because I know I need to do some things around those plants...

I am currently in the Netherlands most spiders are not very big and they are all harmless but the arachnophobia is always there

JONA
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Only around 2.25 million per acre in an average hay meadow Srub!!!

imafan26
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I am o.k. with them as long as they don't sneak up on me. I used to be afraid of the cane spider. It is huge and they would be lurking in closets and behind doors.

https://www.instanthawaii.com/cgi-bin/hi?Animals.cane

The smaller spiders did not bother me so much just the big ones. As it turns out the small ones are the ones you had to watch out for. The brown recluse is a small spider that likes to hang around in dark undisturbed places like closets and storage units. They don't run up to attack people but will bite if they feel threatened. My friend got bitten by one on her hand. Some of the cells died from the toxin and it turned a darker color and she could not feel anything in that spot.

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webmaster
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Getting to know something well is a good way of dispelling a fear. I used to get an icky eew feeling from many bugs, but after extensive reading about the various insects that populate our area, including riparian (related to rivers) bugs, I now see patterns in their emergences, understand that most don't bite, etcetera. Now when I see a cloud of mayflies, while it might seem annoying when they crawl around my face, I don't run away in fright, afraid that they're mosquitoes swarming my head. I know they're simply mayflies mating and dying.

I went night fishing at a saltwater pier a couple weeks ago. Swarms of gnats filled the air, millions of them. I had brought along a neck gaiter to keep them off my face and neck. They chased away some anglers who couldn't deal with millions of gnats all over their hands and faces. But I could because I knew that this explosion of insects was what's called a "hatch" and that they were mating and that after an hour or two they would finish and go away, which is exactly what happened.

Knowledge is truly like a light that dispels darkness. I'm not an expert at entomology but I know enough to keep me from being freaked out by crane flies and stoneflies. A crane fly is a flying insect that resembles a giant mosquito. They are in the same family of insects but the crane fly is actually harmless, it doesn't bite.

A couple summers ago I was sitting on a deck enjoying dinner with my parents when a crane fly landed near my father. My father recoiled in horror, gasping, "Kill it son! Kill the mosquitoe! Kill it son!"

I chuckled while explaining it was just a simple crane fly, totally harmless. But imagine that, a man nearly eighty years old, going through his entire life confusing a crane fly with a mosquito! Because I know what they are, I examine their beautiful bodies with curiosity and fascination. They are like gems to me.

So maybe get a book or two about local spiders and read up about them. As impossible as this may sound, you may find that your fear will turn into wonder.

Shrub
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Location: Netherlands

The problem is I think I know way to much about spiders as it is. I know I get my phobia from my mother and it grew from there, my first memory of a spider is we moved into a new house I was very ittle (prolly my earliest memory is this one) and there was a giant spider in the house, living room above the door way to the rest of the house.
Mum watched the spider as she had my sisters and I run through the door (was bird eating spider) and then when mum was about to run through she jumped back coz it moved... Amazing what children pick up from their parents. Including a fear of something. My other half often teases me about it as I urge him to remove spiders if I don't like where they are.
there are potatos growing in my flower garden, I left a small group there coz the leaves looked pretty, I was ganna trim them back a lil as they grow rather bushy and big like til I moved some leaves and saw I guess a large spider for the Netherlands as most as really small here. Didnt reconise the spider so left it be and worked in a different area. Which made me think about posting. Maybe I can try and so some reseach, thx webmaster

-Shrub

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applestar
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This may take a little getting used to, but what about taking pictures of them? You can start out farther away. You can use these photos to help you look them up and ID them like webmaster said. You might notice details you hadn't before.

I tend to be annoyed with myself now when I don't have my iPhone or iPad handy and I see a new to me spider --like the other day on the inside of the shed door-- I haven't seen it since, or see a particularly interesting web or morning dew on the silky strands, etc.

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rainbowgardener
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look up desensitization or systematic desensitization. It is a psychological technique you can do yourself.

To start with you need to learn how to deeply relax your body. Study some relaxation techniques, like slow deep breathing from the diaphragm, etc. There are books and cd's about this. Practice until you are able to reliably and in not too much time, put yourself in a very relaxed state. (This is a terrific skill to have for many situations!)

Then find your spider and walk towards it until you just START noticing the faint twinge of anxiety. Stop there and do your deep breathing, etc. until you are relaxed again. What makes this work is that you cannot be fearful and relaxed at the same time; they are opposite physiological states. Once you are relaxed take another step towards the spider, until you just can detect anxiety. Stop and relax again. Repeat this as long as it is easy to bring yourself back to relaxation. If you are having trouble doing that, quit for the day and practice the relaxation some more, away from spiders.

In just a few sessions of desensitization, your phobia will be dramatically reduced! I promise! (Check my profile, I am retired now after 40+ years of being a clinical psychologist.)

ButterflyLady29
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Half our neighborhood still knows it when a large spider runs across my bare skin. Hubby doesn't bat an eye (or come kill the spider) when he hears that particular scream. At one point not too long ago I carried a bb gun when going to fire up the wood burning stove (because of the HUGE wolf spider that had taken up residence in the wood pile nearby). About this time of year I'm okay with the little ones but still can't stand the big ones. And I simply cannot bring myself to pull the weeds near the spider "nest" which still contains 100 or so little pencil point size spiderlings. And all relaxation gets blown to the wind if one of those nasty long legged cellar spiders runs across me when I'm trying to take a nap!

Good luck in combating your arachnophobia. I've been struggling with it for years. I did beat it enough to squash a Black Widow I saw once when we were on vacation.

Spiders and rats, the 2 creatures I simply can't stand. I love my wasps because most of them eat spiders.

pepperhead212
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Fortunately, there aren't many dangerous spiders in my area. I hate walking through those webs that are everywhere, esp. in the fall. I remind myself that spiders don't really bother my plants, and do eat many of the bad insects, though they don't care if it is a good or bad one!



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